jobjobjob

guys, peeps, all the nice girls and boys who come by this blog.

i (think) i've the job at nydc. training and orientation's at 2pm tmr, thursday. Heeren.

Wish me luck! hope i don't drop the plates or something.. arghh

NYDC !!

hi my name is ken.

wake up shaun wake up shaun wake up shaun

use me, abuse me, throw me away
thrill me, excite me, abandon me.
make me walk home alone.

squeeze me dry.


that's all i am.



nothing but a plaything.

like an unforeseen, unpredictable natural disaster.
omg omg omg

sunset. a calming picture. i like it. prepare for a photo avalanche. 

see no evil. speak no evil. hear no evil. greg stuffed those red papers into his ears. 

jh's gonna audition for "hadoken girl's" role on the SMU flyer. 

cai showing us the true meaning of an orgasmic experience. 

speak no evil. must be cai and jh. tsk. 

the 2 polo boys spending a private moment. 

today.

i'm at cai's house now!

had a super tiring day. woke up late for service.. shit. was supposed to wake at 630 cos service was at 8. ended up waking at 8!! went to tannery road to this furniture shop called lorenzo to pick up my new sofa. rushed to katong studentss hostel at 1pm (so hot!) to play soccer with church mates. we won 6-1! hows that for a trashing, although i didn't score.. rushed home to pick up my keys and went to the new place to swim and "jacuzzi" with isaac. haha damn gay right. changed to my leather shoes and dance attire and off i go to jitterbugs! for my last and final lesson of tango 1. twisting and turning until i got so dizzyy.. met candy mak there too. an old friend, and she's part of the hip hop troupe of jitterbugs. PRO! walked around millenia and decided to ask outback if they need people.. 5 bucks an hour, 530 - 1030 daily. hows that? lousy ?
hmm.. went to meet the guys and ate some katong laksa at 10pm!! first time eat laksa so late.. walked down to parkway and my legs were so sore from the soccer and tango already. i have a bruised left little toe. its like black.

anyways, these are the choices i have to work. some one help me decide!!

borders 6/hr 3 shifts, morning afternoon night
zara 6/hr
topman ?/hr
substance 5/hr
outback 5/hr 530-1030 daily
harry's 6/hr 8-2am i think
paulaners 6.5/hr late hours too
tuition??
levi's 5/hr

anyone help me decide pls?

everywhere, i look i see her smile
her absent minded eyes.
and she has kept me wondering for so long,
how this thing could go wrong.
it seems to me, that we are both the same,
playing the same game.
but as darkness falls,
this true love falls apart,
into a riddle of the heart.

she's so vulnerable, like china in my hands
she's so vulnerable, and i don't understand
i could never hurt the one i love, she's all i've got
but she's so vulnerable

days like these, noone should be alone,
no heart should hide away.
her touch is gently conquering my mind,
there's nothing words can say
she's covered all the secrets of my soul, i've whispered all my dreams.
but just as nighttime falls,
this vision falls apart,
into a riddle of the heart.

freedom smells good.

clear leave till june 3rd. all the way and i still have leave left over. that's how much i have ladies and gents. bah but still gotta go back now and then for field camps/range etc. yeah but more or less, i'm a freeman finally, leaving my flock of sheeps without their shepherd. their sad story touches my heart.

took ippt today! heartache led to heartbreak. 2.4's a pain in my chest. and ass. long story that spanned 10min. my sad story touches my own damn heart. at least i get 2 kitkat bars on my shoulder. ever had a whole side of your body cramping up? yeah. bummer.

sentosa later? yeah. finally the beach beckons again. gonna be a great friday tomorrow.

good day..

had a few nice matches today.. warm up.

met mandy in e games just now! don't know why but i was so glad to see her. a nice respite from looking at monsters in dota i guess.

claire ure applying ntu?! what course?! u can bunk with shaun..
HEHE

soured

k this is the first in a long time. wanted to get on this sooner but blogger had a slight glitch sometime back. anyway first things first good job sloth! neat thing to d0, publishing all those pics to show the world what uve jus accomplished.

some how i expected the slow-moving, arboreal, edentate mammal of the family Bradypodidae of South and Central America, who has long hooklike claws by which he hangs upside down from tree branches and feeds on leaves, buds, and fruits to actually put down a pic of his favourite fair lady

hmm moving on. really wanted to join the guys i.e. jh,sloth-boy,gabe,isaac in town for the evening but the mood of the day just did not allow it. for those who dont knw, it was jus supposed to be a quick meeting at 0900hrs in camp. however by the time i left it was alr 1700. fucking army politics. ive managed to keep clear of it for a week n jus stepping back into the zone for jus tt split second caused me to be swept away by it. been running into a lot of tidal waves recently. dont think i wld be much fun if i had dragged myself along anyway so sorry dudes. come on sloth. we're still deep right. cant let a lil bump like this get in the way.

fingers n toes n everything else tt can be crossed have been crossed while i still wait fervently for smu to reply. i hate the wait . i hate the helplessness. what a big lesson in fucking life. def not a good day tdy.

sloth's camry. plays rnb, jazz and mainstream.

sloth don't needa drag himself on the road anymore

struggling.

it feels so good not having to do any work at all on a monday. feels even better not having to do any work on tuesday! yep. gonna be finally taking some offs this week. the nearer it gets to june 3rd, the more horrid camp feels. guess the feeling of being so near yet still so far...sucks.

2 weeks in camp has dulled my mind. gonna get myself reconnected these 2 days. oooooh yeah... join me?

it's but a shadow and a thought that you love.

seems like i'm the only one blogging these days. despite the other guys being free and ORD-ed. ahhem. ahh...sad life in camp leads one to think and talk more. gonna be clearing my offs week by week now. hopefully i'll be out by tomorrow noon all the way till...say wednesday morning. all hopes and wishes there. the atmosphere here is stifling to say the least. it's the 5th time i'm doing the same damn things and i'm bored. greg'll understand. he did 6..or 7. yep. won't you?

meanwhile i've been reminded of why school holidays are a horrible time to club. haha. no more for me during school hols unless, old friends are there and such. talk about human tsunami.

currently hooked on halo 2...for the time being where i'm gonna be in camp. addictive lil black bundle of joy brought in by my spec. mmm. good stuff.

hmmm...quando quando quando.

-_-;

lost my phone. farking dulan.

-_-;

lost my phone. farking dulan.

-_-;

lost my phone. farking dulan.

dumm

isaac i think your post is great!

anyone free, go read it. life from a commando viewpoint.

http://www.funkygrad.com/think/displayarticle.php?artID=477&subcat=shout

dum de dum

isaac i think your post is great!

anyone free, go read it. life from a commando viewpoint.

http://www.funkygrad.com/think/displayarticle.php?artID=477&subcat=shout

dum de dum

isaac i think your post is great!

anyone free, go read it. life from a commando viewpoint.

http://www.funkygrad.com/think/displayarticle.php?artID=477&subcat=shout

shackles

i can't seem to phrase my thoughts into a proper post. i'm feeling more than confused now. things i thought to be, were false. things i thought i wanted, i no longer pine for. things i thought were finally over, came right back and smacked me in my stoned, emotionless, dao face. and i'm still stoned. i guess it's time for it again. it's time for me to break free from all my shackles, leave everything behind and escape. disappear. freeze. i can. i will. i shall. i wanna get away from it all. leave. get out.

good things

good things don't come easy. doesn't take a smartass to realise that right? but why do some people have it easier getting the good things and some losers have it more difficult? why is life so unfair ?

-drove by your place yesterday. saw the road i used to walk so much. saw the pavement i used to sit while waiting for you to get back. saw the shoe boxes piled outside the door. saw the bird cage and car parked outside your house and realised everything has changed now-

Things

Bobby Darin's sweetly nostalgic memoir revised for two voices : Robbie and one of Britain's finest actresses Jane Horrocks. Recorded in London in under two hours, the duo gelled instantly. " Jane's got such brilliant comic timing it was dead easy," smiles Robbie. "She made the song come alive for me." And that frank and fearless exchange of views expressed during the outro? "They're kidding!"


Happy Birthday Mark! For all who don't know, his birthday is TODAY! so wish him happy birthday.

Pray pray pray.. prayers. leave it to Him greg!

Shaun, yup maybe NTU's a better choice for you afterall..

good things mustnt be confined to one or two blogs

You must remember this
A kiss is still a kiss
A sigh is just a sigh
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by

And when two lovers woo
They still say I love you
On that you can rely
No matter what the future brings
As time goes by

Moonlight and lovesongs
Never out of date
Hearts filled with passion
Jealousy and hate
Woman needs man
And man must have his mate
That no one can deny

It's still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die
Though I will always welcome lovers
As time goes by

oh yea guys, ians art is even better than his poetry. where did all the girls go?

good things mustnt be confined to one or two blogs.

You must remember this
A kiss is still a kiss
A sigh is just a sigh
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by

And when two lovers woo
They still say I love you
On that you can rely
No matter what the future brings
As time goes by

Moonlight and lovesongs
Never out of date
Hearts filled with passion
Jealousy and hate
Woman needs man
And man must have his mate
That no one can deny

It's still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die
Though I will always welcome lovers
As time goes by

oh yea guys, ians art is even better than his poetry. where did all the girls go?

good things musnt be confined to one or two blogs.

what a change

morning peeps!
its monday!
a weekday!

n guess what i jus got up! 1330hrs to be exact. for those of ya who din knw im starting to clear my off/leave alr. if all goes well im free from all duties all the way till april 28th where my leave takes over n im unstoppable till my ord on june the 3rd =) oh what a beautiful dayyyy

my blog is down. help.

my post got canceled for the last time.

shit.

tekong tmr,
seeking refuge amongst trees.
too much dota.
thats the main gist.

lastly.
wonder hows lingyu.
the silence is maddening...brr

time to change phone again...

http://www.sonyericsson.com/cebit/flash.html

just take a look at the upcoming sonyericsson phones at that URL.

well currently in camp now. bored out of my wits. let me clear my leave. i. can't. hardly. wait.

as micheal buble aptly puts:

"and FREEDOM is mine and i know how i feel.
it's a new day
it's a new dawn
it's a new life for me..
and i'm feeling...good"

yeah. and just went for the SMU matriculation yesterday. all i can say is.. it's all i'm looking forward to now... so all together now! to THAT familiar tune that all army boys know:

"OC won't let me go,
CO pls let me go,
mama, i wanna go hooooome, ya!"

alright, 'nuff ranting. i shall return to my mundane army life, so for now, i bid you all adiou and good night.

Juan Pablo Montoya

Juan Pablo Montoya

Juan Pablo Montoya

MY friend Juan Pablo Montoya

during the intermission. lousy shot here.

holy shit

julia took away the pianist's heart..

look at what i found... photo taken from somewhere in feb 2004. OCT Ian Tan. pro term. brunei. tired. starved. dirty. the walking wounded. brunei brings back memories of ultimate survival. for my team at least. those there with me will know what i mean. thanks jh for the 1st bite of chips and chocolates. thanks cai for the care and the love. thanks to many others too, but you'll not know them. the time passes, but the memories will never fade away.  

oh my !

its amazing.

james moody with jeremy monteiro this friday, on the 11th march.

BEBEL GILBERTO - Live

Thu 31 March 2005, 8pm
Esplanade Concert Hall

!!! bebel gilberto!

jazz and bossa nova's getting huge in singapore. don't miss out! anyone wanna catch bebel gilberto with me ?

scamper. the ice lover. (crunch)

rest assure i will keep you in prayer shaun. smu, licence, scamper.

don't be too sad, because the inevitable will happen. like lucky (!!). but i'm sure you don't want scamper to chase its own tail too.

what if i say i have the perfect solution to your problems?

do you believe this ?

doors

when something unpleasant or sad happens, there's a door i open.
i step through the doorway,
and shut the door behind me.
i then face another, yet unopened door.
these doors are what you would call emotional defences.
every doorway i pass through, every door i shut,
the more pain is forgotten, ignored, hidden.
i feel less vulnerable, more sure that only i'm in control of my life,
not some string pulled puppet.
but i'm scared.
there are too many doors i've gone through and shut.
too many times my two ever reliable friends, silence and loneliness,
sat by me,
coaxing me to open one more.
they seem thrilled at my helplessness and hopelessness.
silent scream.
the recluse is eating me up.
the darkness is drowning me.
when will she come to unlock my doors?
(and by this i don't mean the infamous h)


anyway, isaac, i have a right to be depressed, this time.
scamper is in the hospital.. he can't breathe properly
those of you who are usual guests at my place know that he wheezes like hell whenever he gets up, sits down, eats, walks, sleeps, whatever. yeah so he's on oxygen now. hmmm.
so jh, one more thing for you to pray about for me alright?
smu, licence, scamper.

and i came close to losing my ring this evening. scared the shit out of me until i activated my men to find it. luckily for me they found it. what a day. there goes one more door. WOW here i come.

feeling good

i like this song. the feeling good one by buble? yeah. especially this part:

"It's a new dawn

It's a new day

It's a new life for me

And I'm feelin' good"

makes me wanna rid my inner demons. cast them away. throw them out and get back to those days without all those considerations, all those...worries. those days of freedom...

isn't it amazing how quickly things can hit you. one moment, you thought you were in control, then the next, you're knocked off your feet by that one thing you never expected, you find yourself scrambling, trying to regain your senses, trying to regain control...but you can't. and you're being led along a big merry go round. pulled along, dragged about and there's not one thing you can do about it. by the time you come round, you're beat, bruised and wounded, wondering and confused as to what had came about, how it came to happen, how you let yourself lose control...

well, i've been knocked off my feet. yes. i didn't expect it. yes. i was scrambling. hell yes. i tried to regain my senses, my control. i tried..i tried. failed. i was led. yes i was. pulled, dragged, beat, bruised, wounded, wondering and confused. the whole package. i wouldn't dare deny it. now i'm picking up the pieces and forming the big picture. i see it clear. and now i stand again. more or less, i'm back in control. no more silly games. no more merry go rounds. just me, there. standing. taking the reins and never letting them go. hmm, maybe just till the next thing comes along to knock me over. heh. till then, the current game, is over. the point is absent. the meaning, irrelevant. and the objective, a non-issue. yes i'm done, i'm up, i'm back and i'm.... feeling good.

i'm so close to my freedom. i hear it beckon. i hear it call. soon, let it be mine. be mine forever. come june..no, come april. i shall embrace what i've longed for.

dilemma

sometimes, we wish so much to reveal our thoughts and feelings, but fear the repercussions of our expression. so we almost never directly speak what we have in our heads and hearts. rather, we loves to drop hints, in hope that others may pick up and guess what that we wish to convey. this way, we'd never have the feeling that we actually revealed what we're hiding, so we'll live in the illusion that others were actually intuitive enough to know what we keep within our hearts.

sadly, sometimes, people are hesitant to guess what they imagine to be the truth. they know and harbour the thought of the possibility of the real truth, but they never really want to say it out for fear of confirming what they dread to know. so they'll purposefully, keep guessing the wrong answers, in hopes that we'll become frustrated and tell them the truth outright, and so, living in the illusion that they really didn't know about the matter until we had told them about it.

so what are we to do? what are we to do? no one gives way and everyone is left with thoughts in their minds which cannot be confirmed. left with people wondering and curious, left with people having imaginations running wild, left with people unsure of what next they are to do. oh...so what are we to do...what are we to do?

ord loh

16 more days to 20th march.
yay =o)

things are looking up

this is for all u april pukes like me. those poor boys who enlisted during the mth of april, who grew up to become more then they ever thought they cld be. capable n def lethal specialists n officers. rising as high as the nsf rank system will allow u to go.

gentlemen we have officially.....

90 working days including sat, sun, pub hols n uncleared leave/off for the 4th april 2003 cohort
89 working days including sat, sun, pub hols n uncleared leave/off for the 3rd april 2003 cohort
88 working days including sat, sun, pub hols n uncleared leave/off for the 2nd april 2003 cohort

2digits left in the ord counter.

as for me im sitting pretty. apart from some small sai-kang which my roof top can protect me from.. this 2nd sergeant is abt ready to ord. current batch of recs pass out in the 9th of march. ive a lull all the way till the 26th of april by which a new pes c batch will come in. however if i combine leave n off. i shdl be shaking a leg at home as early as.. lets seeee. 1st wk of april? =))

ORD LOH!

thank God for painkillers

just plucked out 4 teeth at alexander yesterday. 2 wisdom and they hurt so bad! my pillow was blood stained last night, luckily it wasn't so bad.

the guy on the next bed was screaming and trashing about, the nurses had to hold and calm him down..

"its alright, the ops over..."

scary. think its some post op trauma thing.

everyone's getting so poetic and shit.. i just don't know what to write!

learnt through the hard way

whatever choice we make in life, is solely our responsibility. an action a consequence. consequence bore by those who act. you could be influenced, you could be swayed, but those around you serve no more than as advisors who speak what they believe in and hope you believe with them. in the end, whether you were affected or you stand your ground, your choice will always ultimately be, just your choice. perhaps, remember this when you make your choices, for none is to be blamed when something goes wrong, other than yourself.

all that's left is now about to disappear

the officer in me has officially died.
the responsibilities have taken their toll.
i give up.
all my men, you little sniffling babies, go solve your own (goddamn) problems.
i'm no probation officer.

the boy in me is starting to die.
i sit in sullen silence.
i stand in perpetual defence.
it's too tiring and complicated for me to express myself.
leave me alone.

the world sits heavy on my shoulders.
the things i want to accomplish,
the goals i want to achieve,
the life i want to lead,
All these are lost in the tumultuous pressures of what the world wants to see, and expect.
comformity and stability kills us all.

i stand before the glass panel that separates the boy i am and the man i have to become.
i look with apprehension through it.
the panel shakes with agitation.
it quivers with trepidation,
just threatening, always threatening,
to obliterate into shards of painful experiences,
leaving me alone with broken innocence.

there's still much of life that i haven't lived,
yet my lips already curl with distaste.
i wish i knew what i was meant to do.
i wish i knew what we were meant to become.
we are all blind, you and i,
lost and confused,
happiness is but a fleeting release from eternal sorrow.

mad poster ranting

i really loved that song. still loving it cos of all the words and all the meanings and how the song is sung. mine, immaculate dreams indeed.

currently posting madly is myself. i'm stuck in camp and bored with nothing much left to do. well, my own sad story touches my own heart. the 24km march for my lil soldiers are held on sunday cos A'lvl results just decided to release themselves on friday. so ALL my cute lil troopers are trooping off back to their JCs to collect their 'almighty' A'lvl cert and whatever program that falls on friday...gets postponed till sunday! incredulous. *grunt* at least i get to leave by thursday night and go back on sunday morning. oh well, sad story.

i think my poems are lacking in meaning since they never really refer to anyone. mmm, just thoughts in my head and trying immensely to rhyme every line. it's not good. i think they're just rhymes since they have no meaning. no? poems are rhymes with meanings, usually deep ones. not shallow ones. mmm, perhaps i should just stick to business management in SMU. i'm just ranting. back to my ranting ways then. till i actually get a proper poem then...i shall rhyme...occasionally.

mmm, nothing else. just bored. and yes! i will finally matriculate on march 12th! SMU, here i come.

Come Undone

mine, immaculate dream made breath and skin
i've been waiting for you
signed, with a home tattoo
happy birthday to you, was created for you

(can't ever keep from falling apart, at the seams)
(cannot believe you're taking my heart, to pieces)

words, playing me deja vu
like a radio tune, i swear i've heard before
chill, is it something real
or the magic i'm feeding off your fingers

(can't ever keep from falling apart, at the seams)
(cannot believe you're taking my heart, to pieces)

oh, it'll take a little time
might take a little crime
to come undone now

we'll try, to stay blind
to the hopes and fears outside
hey child, stay wilder than the wind
and blow me in to cry

who do you need?
who do you love?
when you come undone
who do you need?
who do you love?
when you come undone

lost, in a snow filled sky,
we'll make it alright
to come undone now

we'll try, to stay blind
to the hopes and fears outside
hey child, stay wilder than the wind
and blow me in to cry

who do you need?
who do you love?
when you come undone
who do you need?
who do you love?
when you come undone

time.

ladies and gentlemen, it's time.

i'm slipping off the edge

everyday i try to hold on to a time where nothing mattered
i can't explain what's happened
and i can't erase the things that i've done
how could this happen to me?

another one

it wasn't supposed to be like this.
so plain, so simple. oh what bliss.
but then things got so complicated.
because of her, he was implicated.
cool, calm, he's supposed to be.
but crazed he became, over she.
it all started when he stepped too deep.
for the lady that he couldn't keep.
'cause she had another in her heart,
and he knows he can never play the part.
so leave he must and leave he would.
for leaving is all he ever could.
like a silent shadow, he'd disappear.
in her life, never again to re-appear.
all this, for calm? for simplicity?
ha! i think it's plain insanity.