have you ever felt helplessly lost?
an intangible feeling so overpowering that you actually wince while emcompassing the pain.
have you ever felt like crying?
crying so hard and so bad just to let it all out.
have you ever felt like throwing it all away?
just leave it all behind, just... get rid of all feelings, to start everything anew.
have you ever felt like you don't need anyone?
people are just inconsistentcies and liaibilities. you can depend on yourself. you know it.
have you ever found it hard to find someone to talk to?
noone truly understands the way you work. silence perhaps, could be your friend.
have you ever wanted to hurt the one you loved most?
just to see how much you're worth to her; pride. stubborn foolish pride.
have you ever wanted to never wake up?
it takes more guts to go back to sleep and fuck it all than to wake up and face the world.
have you ever felt the walls of your world closing in, yet falling apart at the same time?
i have.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Sunday, October 30, 2005
fucker cai
remember tucker max @ www.tuckermax.com?
now theres fucker cai.
a dumb and sneaky fucker.
that bastard.
ok now i said it. i went to liquid room last night.=p
now theres fucker cai.
a dumb and sneaky fucker.
that bastard.
ok now i said it. i went to liquid room last night.=p
Saturday, October 29, 2005
blogging from the bedside.
if i give up on you, i give up on me,
so don't you give up on me
cos i haven't given up on you.
for now i shall rest.
let me rest, let you rest.
till you've rest enough.
speak if you need to,
whine if you want to,
i will be around
should you need a listening ear.
so don't you give up on me
cos i haven't given up on you.
for now i shall rest.
let me rest, let you rest.
till you've rest enough.
speak if you need to,
whine if you want to,
i will be around
should you need a listening ear.
Friday, October 28, 2005
the art of emotions.
e·mote ( P ) Pronunciation Key (-mt)intr.v. e·mot·ed, e·mot·ing, e·motes
To express emotion, especially in an excessive or theatrical manner.
.
yeh ian you can try drawing. but you'll probably lose out to shaun. he can write AND draw. so he'll get twice as many girls.
ok. crap. too much cubing in the library is not good for me. too much FA too. not good.
To express emotion, especially in an excessive or theatrical manner.
.
yeh ian you can try drawing. but you'll probably lose out to shaun. he can write AND draw. so he'll get twice as many girls.
ok. crap. too much cubing in the library is not good for me. too much FA too. not good.
expressions
hey ian. i suggest u draw instead of write.
pee's good with the words, so girls wanna take their pants off for him.
you're good at drawing, maybe its worth a shot.
ha ha ha ha haaaa.- feel good inc.
pee's good with the words, so girls wanna take their pants off for him.
you're good at drawing, maybe its worth a shot.
ha ha ha ha haaaa.- feel good inc.
words
came here to blog.
but lost everything the moment i start.
words never seem to do me justice.
they've never been good friends of mine.
somehow,
words seem to make things worse for me.
most of the time anyway.
shaun, sometimes you echo how i feel.
the true-blue emo-boy.
but lost everything the moment i start.
words never seem to do me justice.
they've never been good friends of mine.
somehow,
words seem to make things worse for me.
most of the time anyway.
shaun, sometimes you echo how i feel.
the true-blue emo-boy.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
let's not exchange numbers; i won't have to worry when you'll next reply or call me.
let's become good friends; it'll be the only way i can still have you near me even if you'll never be mine.
let's have secrets; we can give each other knowing glances throughout the day to keep boredom at bay.
let's dare each other; the world will swirl around us in a blur as we walk together side by side.
let's take it slow; bask in the little things we reveal about ourselves a day at a time.
let's become good friends; it'll be the only way i can still have you near me even if you'll never be mine.
let's have secrets; we can give each other knowing glances throughout the day to keep boredom at bay.
let's dare each other; the world will swirl around us in a blur as we walk together side by side.
let's take it slow; bask in the little things we reveal about ourselves a day at a time.
Monday, October 24, 2005
it's been awhile.
why bother with ethics. why bother with inhibitions.
if you like something, take it. if it belongs to someone else, take it.
steal it if you have to. because ultimately, it's your gain.
and this is perhaps the only thing you can steal and noone else can have any say about it.
why bother about feelings, why bother about anything when everything has no meaning?
you tell your friends to stop smoking, they don't listen.
you tell your friends to stop being hypocritical motherfuckers, they don't listen.
they pretend to try, but they don't.
why bother counselling stubborn people when you know they're just nodding their heads for you.
be a third party, two time, fuck around. who cares?
no matter how hard you try, it really doesn't matter does it.
you fucked up by falling in love with someone else in a relationship.
he's fucked up for falling for you.
but it's neither's fault.
both of you sincerely love each other.
he still loves his girlfriend.
all 3 are sincerely fucked up.
how many times have you hugged the person you're with, yet stared into space thinking longingly of someone in ages passed, in the present, as well as someone you are thinking of attaining?
this world has no meaning, it's really messed up.
think about it. you'd think i'm spouting rubbish. but if you took time and think about it carefully, how has it helped you last when you were being NICE.
how has it helped you to stay faithful?
how has it helped you to be hardworking?
how has it helped you to be well liked?
noone can understand yourself like you do.
noone wants to hear about your fucking problems.
everyone pretends they want to understand. deep down inside they go "thank god it didn't happen to me"
why bother at all?
why bother at all?
why bother at all?
we all fade away one day and nothing will be left behind. only fucking twits think they leave some legacy or some change behind.
fucking twits.
another journey without friends. my joy ride.
why bother with ethics. why bother with inhibitions.
if you like something, take it. if it belongs to someone else, take it.
steal it if you have to. because ultimately, it's your gain.
and this is perhaps the only thing you can steal and noone else can have any say about it.
why bother about feelings, why bother about anything when everything has no meaning?
you tell your friends to stop smoking, they don't listen.
you tell your friends to stop being hypocritical motherfuckers, they don't listen.
they pretend to try, but they don't.
why bother counselling stubborn people when you know they're just nodding their heads for you.
be a third party, two time, fuck around. who cares?
no matter how hard you try, it really doesn't matter does it.
you fucked up by falling in love with someone else in a relationship.
he's fucked up for falling for you.
but it's neither's fault.
both of you sincerely love each other.
he still loves his girlfriend.
all 3 are sincerely fucked up.
how many times have you hugged the person you're with, yet stared into space thinking longingly of someone in ages passed, in the present, as well as someone you are thinking of attaining?
this world has no meaning, it's really messed up.
think about it. you'd think i'm spouting rubbish. but if you took time and think about it carefully, how has it helped you last when you were being NICE.
how has it helped you to stay faithful?
how has it helped you to be hardworking?
how has it helped you to be well liked?
noone can understand yourself like you do.
noone wants to hear about your fucking problems.
everyone pretends they want to understand. deep down inside they go "thank god it didn't happen to me"
why bother at all?
why bother at all?
why bother at all?
we all fade away one day and nothing will be left behind. only fucking twits think they leave some legacy or some change behind.
fucking twits.
another journey without friends. my joy ride.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
The Calling - Stigmatized
If I give up on you I give up on me
If we fight what's true, will we ever be
Even God himself, and the faith I knew
Shouldn't hold me back, shouldn't keep me from you
Tease me, by holding out your hand
Then leave me, or take me as I am
And live our lives, stigmatized
I can feel the blood rushing through my veins
When I hear your voice, driving me insane
Hour after hour day after day
Every lonely night that I sit and pray
Tease me, by holding out your hand
Then leave me, or take me as I am
And live our lives, stigmatized
We live our lives on different sides
But we keep together you and I
Just live our lives, stigmatized
We'll live our lives, we'll take the punches every day
We'll live our lives I know we're gonna find our way
I believe in you
Even if no one understands
I believe in you, and I don't really give a damn
If we're stigmatized
We live our lives on different sides
But we keep together you and I
We live our lives on different sides
Saturday, October 22, 2005
sleep
sometimes don't you wish you can sleep forever?
sleep and you can do nothing forever. i'm just a lazy bug.
sleep and you won't think of all that's happening around you. i'm just in apathy.
sleep and all your worries will never bother you. i'm just a runner, running away from everything.
sleep and rest my soul. i'm tired. i know you are too.
i wish i could sleep forever.
sleep and you can do nothing forever. i'm just a lazy bug.
sleep and you won't think of all that's happening around you. i'm just in apathy.
sleep and all your worries will never bother you. i'm just a runner, running away from everything.
sleep and rest my soul. i'm tired. i know you are too.
i wish i could sleep forever.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Feminine Ruggedness
feminine ruggedness. don't really know what to say here. haha but it's pretty cute, whichever angle you view it from.
Blue Sky Holiday
i feel maybe i imagine too much. look up in the sky and day dream too much. time to let go and walk away? perhaps i need a blue sky holiday..
Monday, October 17, 2005
que restou do falecido
jh your post just lit my face up man.
as time goes on the memories get sweeter.
as we try to relive the moment in our head,
we get transported away from the world for a moment.
and that feels great.
escapism probably. but the endorphins just came.
good thing about having all of us is that we forget less, and theres always someone who remembers something you forgot. and may the memories live on forever.
god bless this blog.
as time goes on the memories get sweeter.
as we try to relive the moment in our head,
we get transported away from the world for a moment.
and that feels great.
escapism probably. but the endorphins just came.
good thing about having all of us is that we forget less, and theres always someone who remembers something you forgot. and may the memories live on forever.
god bless this blog.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
what i feel
We used to post so much more, about our army lives, about the girls that were in our lives. Why have we stopped ? I think its because so many more people are reading our blog now. Its no more just a blog where 5 guys got together and bang each other, where we were all busy in our seperate camps, and everything army seemed interesting.
You name it.
1. Bmt POP, where my dad was so kanchiong and ran to the parade square.
2. The union of me ian and shaun at eunos market 11.30pm. Night before OCS entrance. To lead to excel to overcome.
3. Social Night, mine with shar and ian with limyew. a lousy mc at scc and nice drinks at harrys.
4. Ex spade? remember ex spade?
5. The celebration of shaun's bday when we sneaked into his bunk at 2230 and bought him a cake!!! how brother!!
6. When cai was my fighting patrol sec com in Taiwan. totally trashed that golf platoon. fire in my eyes? eh =o) "cai you have to clear that mg position"
7. When we all went to taiwan and i spent like my full 3 days shopping with shaun. remember keith harring and that tshirt that cai bought for greg?
8. Comms ball ? hmm.. kenneth with pam, ian with cheryl, shaun with h, me with ___, cai with swan.
9. That christmas night where cai got pissed.. with lau for not coming and shaun for giving him 50 bucks. lol. and i fought with bourbon using a broken umbrella!!
10. Shaun, sick. crushed.
Smu's not so much fun huh ? whole day study..
You name it.
1. Bmt POP, where my dad was so kanchiong and ran to the parade square.
2. The union of me ian and shaun at eunos market 11.30pm. Night before OCS entrance. To lead to excel to overcome.
3. Social Night, mine with shar and ian with limyew. a lousy mc at scc and nice drinks at harrys.
4. Ex spade? remember ex spade?
5. The celebration of shaun's bday when we sneaked into his bunk at 2230 and bought him a cake!!! how brother!!
6. When cai was my fighting patrol sec com in Taiwan. totally trashed that golf platoon. fire in my eyes? eh =o) "cai you have to clear that mg position"
7. When we all went to taiwan and i spent like my full 3 days shopping with shaun. remember keith harring and that tshirt that cai bought for greg?
8. Comms ball ? hmm.. kenneth with pam, ian with cheryl, shaun with h, me with ___, cai with swan.
9. That christmas night where cai got pissed.. with lau for not coming and shaun for giving him 50 bucks. lol. and i fought with bourbon using a broken umbrella!!
10. Shaun, sick. crushed.
Smu's not so much fun huh ? whole day study..
Saturday, October 15, 2005
just random useless knowledge
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'
Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the kicker...
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'
Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the kicker...
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
Retro/Emo
"I can't hold on
To what I want when I'm stretched so thin
It's all too much to take in
I can't hold on
To anything watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking in"
To what I want when I'm stretched so thin
It's all too much to take in
I can't hold on
To anything watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking in"
"It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone"
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone"
"Everything falls apart
even the people who never frown
eventually break down
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie"
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Singapore Mugger University
ITS NOT A HOLIDAY,
IF YOU DONT TAKE IT.
IF ITS STRESFUL NOW,
IT WILL ALWAYS BE.
because u choose to let it be.
IF YOU DONT TAKE IT.
IF ITS STRESFUL NOW,
IT WILL ALWAYS BE.
because u choose to let it be.
hmm
why no pics of u and ur date? =o)
yeh quidam was great. i loved the yoga part. and the humans being thrown around part. and the 4 man tower!
yeh quidam was great. i loved the yoga part. and the humans being thrown around part. and the 4 man tower!
cirque du soleil presents....quidam
wow! quidam's awesome! simply awesome... 4 more days for those who still wanna catch it! jh! i agree that it's worth the money!
so, after enduring the repeated "i'm sorry but please do not take any photos" and one "i'm sorry please do not take ANY MORE photos" from the ushers, i semi-proudly present to you my spoils of the day, caught on camera. 1.3mp camera, can't take shit. please bare with me. :)
so, after enduring the repeated "i'm sorry but please do not take any photos" and one "i'm sorry please do not take ANY MORE photos" from the ushers, i semi-proudly present to you my spoils of the day, caught on camera. 1.3mp camera, can't take shit. please bare with me. :)
Monday, October 10, 2005
Sunday, October 09, 2005
There were nights when the wind was so cold,
that my body froze in bed
if i just listened to it right outside the window.
there were days when the sun was so cruel,
that all the tears turned to dust
And i just knew my eyes were drying up forever.
I finished crying the instant that you left,
And I can't remember where or when or how,
I banished every memory that you and I had ever made.
But when you touch me like this,
and you hold me like that,
I just had to admit.....
..that it's all coming back to me now...
that my body froze in bed
if i just listened to it right outside the window.
there were days when the sun was so cruel,
that all the tears turned to dust
And i just knew my eyes were drying up forever.
I finished crying the instant that you left,
And I can't remember where or when or how,
I banished every memory that you and I had ever made.
But when you touch me like this,
and you hold me like that,
I just had to admit.....
..that it's all coming back to me now...
Saturday, October 08, 2005
never call never message no manja ? ne ne
"Forgive Me"
Can you forgive me again?
I don't know what I said
But I didn't mean to hurt you
I heard the words come out
I felt that I would die
It hurt so much to hurt you
Then you looked at me
You're not shouting anymore
You're silently broken
I'd give anything now
to kill those words for you
Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."
But somehow I know that you will never leave me.
'Cause you were made for me
Somehow I'll make you see
How happy you make me
I can't live this life
Without you by my side
I need you to survive
So stay with me
You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry.
And you forgive me again
You're my one true friend
And I never meant to hurt you
Can you forgive me again?
I don't know what I said
But I didn't mean to hurt you
I heard the words come out
I felt that I would die
It hurt so much to hurt you
Then you looked at me
You're not shouting anymore
You're silently broken
I'd give anything now
to kill those words for you
Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."
But somehow I know that you will never leave me.
'Cause you were made for me
Somehow I'll make you see
How happy you make me
I can't live this life
Without you by my side
I need you to survive
So stay with me
You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry.
And you forgive me again
You're my one true friend
And I never meant to hurt you
Friday, October 07, 2005
yesterday
all my troubles seem so far away
yesterday was fun ! the day after my mid terms.. spent the morning in school listening to some presentations in ltb.. fell asleep in class. went to library after that to slack and talk cock with poh and des and ian.. studied a bit of FA and act TA.. haha
went to meet mok and shaun and isaac came along too.
isaac called mok : ringggggg ringggggggg
i picked up her phone :" hello? yes ? this is JASON. nicole's BF."
isaac : " errrrr. errmmm err "
me : "LOL"
isaac sounded so shocked. lol chills. i'm not jason.
anyways, had a slackish time at carl's jr just sitting and eating and talking about girls and boys and everything under the moon.
yesterday was fun ! the day after my mid terms.. spent the morning in school listening to some presentations in ltb.. fell asleep in class. went to library after that to slack and talk cock with poh and des and ian.. studied a bit of FA and act TA.. haha
went to meet mok and shaun and isaac came along too.
isaac called mok : ringggggg ringggggggg
i picked up her phone :" hello? yes ? this is JASON. nicole's BF."
isaac : " errrrr. errmmm err "
me : "LOL"
isaac sounded so shocked. lol chills. i'm not jason.
anyways, had a slackish time at carl's jr just sitting and eating and talking about girls and boys and everything under the moon.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Cai's 21st Birthday
This saturday, at Liquid Room next to Galleria Hotel.
Guys pay for your own entrance, Girls go in for free as usual.
I got the VIP room booked, but come early in case you cant get in.
I'll be there at 10pm. arrange with me if you wanna gay there with me while the rest come.
I'll take care of the drinks, and then you all take care of me okay?
Everyones invited.
people like TAN SIM NG TAN TAN LAU must go.
(sounds like some vulgarity)
gay cyberparkers, vjc people, clubbing essentials, friends and family all will attend.
my ah ma will mix your cocktails for you if you are nice.
good luck for your mid terms and exams this week.
after its over, the alcohol will wash it out of your system.
apologise for not being able to book a hotel room for you all.
i bet PTBF will be sorely disappointed.
seeya there.
Guys pay for your own entrance, Girls go in for free as usual.
I got the VIP room booked, but come early in case you cant get in.
I'll be there at 10pm. arrange with me if you wanna gay there with me while the rest come.
I'll take care of the drinks, and then you all take care of me okay?
Everyones invited.
people like TAN SIM NG TAN TAN LAU must go.
(sounds like some vulgarity)
gay cyberparkers, vjc people, clubbing essentials, friends and family all will attend.
my ah ma will mix your cocktails for you if you are nice.
good luck for your mid terms and exams this week.
after its over, the alcohol will wash it out of your system.
apologise for not being able to book a hotel room for you all.
i bet PTBF will be sorely disappointed.
seeya there.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
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