what e f*** is wrong with me.
my life's a mess, i have no friggin idea what im dg.
ive lost my direction. i dont knw anymore.
random incoherent thoughts keep gg thru my mind.
struggling to piece them together.
i have to set things straight somehow. somehow seems like such a vague word.
random thought: wtf is my blog start page in friggin chinese.
anyway thanx cai, ian for shedding some light on my situation. ur insights were extremely invaluable. -brotherhood- stand by ur bro, no matter e circumstance.
perhaps i might find some peace when sleep finally claims me.
good night
Friday, December 31, 2004
zouk zouk
stepped into zouk again last night, after a 2 months+ absence. i gotta say, nothing's changed. music's great! as usual. but the crowd is screwed. felt like sardines. all the pushing. all the squeezing. such a turn off. ironically, got a mail today saying i won a pair of free passes to zouk. so i got a pair of free passes to give out. any takers?
31 dec 2004.. so soon the year has passed. i can't wait for 2005. hope something good comes along. see you all next year.
31 dec 2004.. so soon the year has passed. i can't wait for 2005. hope something good comes along. see you all next year.
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
for once.
yeh eugene, ian's right. if theres anyone in this room that wants to see you join us again, its me.
don't want to say too much here, but i think we've drifted so far away. too far for our own good. you don't even know i go to church now with nelson right? sometimes i really blame mavis, why she's taken this brother away from me. but i guess theres no point playing blame-games now. for the new year.
don't want to say too much here, but i think we've drifted so far away. too far for our own good. you don't even know i go to church now with nelson right? sometimes i really blame mavis, why she's taken this brother away from me. but i guess theres no point playing blame-games now. for the new year.
my thoughtless
this was supposed to be the 7th time i visit here and leave nothing, but i was determined to write. i've so much in my mind that i can't put to words OR that the feeling's all but gone and writing them would have no point. well anyway, here goes:
i wanted to talk about friendship cos of all the crap happening lately. between friends, there will no doubt be fights, quarrels and disagreements. what stops them from becoming enemies is the bond they share as friends. no doubt in anger we piss each other off. no doubt in frustration we rail at one another. but if you're unable to look past such small matters and understand that bad tempers make friends do things they regret, then i guess the bond wasn't so strong such that it can withstand such a blow. i believe our friendship is more than this. many times we piss each other off more than this, many times we quarrel over worse matters but we've always recovered. perhaps instead of bearing the grudge in your heart, think about how our bonds have weathered all storms and think about whether it's worth it to throw it all away just because of something as insignificant as an angry man's rants. if you think i'm talking about that incident you bet i am. come back eugene. no doubt dota's taken over us and the east is kinda far for you, no doubt we don't club as much together anymore, no doubt you've gotten new priorities in life now but it's also no doubt that you are still our friend. cai's apologised for his own rashness and he really wants to clarify the matter with you. he's been trying to get to talk to you. help him and it'll help you and help us all. ok?
i am diseased. not of the physical, not of the mind. but of the heart. something's wrong, can't figure it out. i am also plagued. by indecisiveness. i think i once wrote that the first step to being a man is to be decisive. actually i am decisive, about other people's matters. but totally wishy washy on my own. guess i'm still very much a boy then. a 20 yr old one.
speaking of 20 yrs. someone recently asked me when i'm getting married. i was thinking i'm only 20. but then again i was in primary school only 8 yrs back so, another 8 yrs? mrs tan? junior tan? i really don't know. maybe 30+? life simply put, is unpredictable. who knows? *bang*. =)
once again this song has returned to haunt me. calling to me. binding me to it. guess i feel a bond to this song. somehow, i don't know. when i close my eyes, i could almost hear a silent cry within. 'insensatez'. translated: 'how insensitive'
wait. i could almost sense someone watching intently at this..... waiting for the right moment..... and.....
i wanted to talk about friendship cos of all the crap happening lately. between friends, there will no doubt be fights, quarrels and disagreements. what stops them from becoming enemies is the bond they share as friends. no doubt in anger we piss each other off. no doubt in frustration we rail at one another. but if you're unable to look past such small matters and understand that bad tempers make friends do things they regret, then i guess the bond wasn't so strong such that it can withstand such a blow. i believe our friendship is more than this. many times we piss each other off more than this, many times we quarrel over worse matters but we've always recovered. perhaps instead of bearing the grudge in your heart, think about how our bonds have weathered all storms and think about whether it's worth it to throw it all away just because of something as insignificant as an angry man's rants. if you think i'm talking about that incident you bet i am. come back eugene. no doubt dota's taken over us and the east is kinda far for you, no doubt we don't club as much together anymore, no doubt you've gotten new priorities in life now but it's also no doubt that you are still our friend. cai's apologised for his own rashness and he really wants to clarify the matter with you. he's been trying to get to talk to you. help him and it'll help you and help us all. ok?
i am diseased. not of the physical, not of the mind. but of the heart. something's wrong, can't figure it out. i am also plagued. by indecisiveness. i think i once wrote that the first step to being a man is to be decisive. actually i am decisive, about other people's matters. but totally wishy washy on my own. guess i'm still very much a boy then. a 20 yr old one.
speaking of 20 yrs. someone recently asked me when i'm getting married. i was thinking i'm only 20. but then again i was in primary school only 8 yrs back so, another 8 yrs? mrs tan? junior tan? i really don't know. maybe 30+? life simply put, is unpredictable. who knows? *bang*. =)
once again this song has returned to haunt me. calling to me. binding me to it. guess i feel a bond to this song. somehow, i don't know. when i close my eyes, i could almost hear a silent cry within. 'insensatez'. translated: 'how insensitive'
wait. i could almost sense someone watching intently at this..... waiting for the right moment..... and.....
'REFRESH!'
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
RESPLENDENCE
hey lau, chill okay. i didnt know you'd take it so seriously. im sorry for u reacting like this.
its just abit frustration i had to let out after some accumulation, not just that one incident. but to me its water under the bridge. i guess its easy for me to say that i wouldnt do that to my acquaintances, but i value honesty lah. so i just say lor. didnt know it'll have such severe repercussions, i mean i dont mince my words, but i hope you see my point lah. rather than nasty bits. im just lousy with expressions and stuff. the alcohol and xmas high didnt help. msn or call me anytime lah. i hope u dont see me as one of the fuckers out there to add shit to your life.
merry xmas to that.
its just abit frustration i had to let out after some accumulation, not just that one incident. but to me its water under the bridge. i guess its easy for me to say that i wouldnt do that to my acquaintances, but i value honesty lah. so i just say lor. didnt know it'll have such severe repercussions, i mean i dont mince my words, but i hope you see my point lah. rather than nasty bits. im just lousy with expressions and stuff. the alcohol and xmas high didnt help. msn or call me anytime lah. i hope u dont see me as one of the fuckers out there to add shit to your life.
merry xmas to that.
Sunday, December 26, 2004
The origins of Boxing Day
Boxing Day
In England a long time ago…
Servants were required to work on Christmas. They were responsible for making the holiday run smoothly for wealthy landowners. They were allowed to take leave on December 26th and visit their families. The employers gave each servant a box containing gifts and bonuses. In addition, around the 800s' churches opened their alms boxes (boxes where people place monetary donations) and distributed the contents to poor.
In England today…
Few people have servants but the custom of giving gifts or money to those who provide service continues. It is also popular to visit grandparents and shop (the after Christmas discounts begin). Many people get the day off from work. Watching sports especially horse races is also a popular activity. Boxing Day is also celebrated in places where the English have settled or have influence like Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and Scotland. Some places observe Boxing Day on December 26th and some celebrate it on the first weekday following Christmas, so, if Christmas falls on Friday or Saturday Boxing Day would be on the following Monday.Now, the actual origin of this holiday is debatable and has been debated, one idea being more popular than the other at a given time.St. Stephen's Day is also celebrated on December 26th. Stephen one of Jesus' disciples. Shortly after Jesus' crucifixion he was accused of preaching blasphemy and he was stoned to death becoming the first Christian martyr. The Song "Good King Wenceslas" speaks of Stephen.
"...when Good King Wenceslas looked out,
on the Feast of Stephen...."
Happy boxing day to all, and happy birthday daddy...though i couldn't spend it with you cause of the bloody SAF, i still love you..
hope everyone had a good christmas, and christmas eve... i know i did.
In England a long time ago…
Servants were required to work on Christmas. They were responsible for making the holiday run smoothly for wealthy landowners. They were allowed to take leave on December 26th and visit their families. The employers gave each servant a box containing gifts and bonuses. In addition, around the 800s' churches opened their alms boxes (boxes where people place monetary donations) and distributed the contents to poor.
In England today…
Few people have servants but the custom of giving gifts or money to those who provide service continues. It is also popular to visit grandparents and shop (the after Christmas discounts begin). Many people get the day off from work. Watching sports especially horse races is also a popular activity. Boxing Day is also celebrated in places where the English have settled or have influence like Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and Scotland. Some places observe Boxing Day on December 26th and some celebrate it on the first weekday following Christmas, so, if Christmas falls on Friday or Saturday Boxing Day would be on the following Monday.Now, the actual origin of this holiday is debatable and has been debated, one idea being more popular than the other at a given time.St. Stephen's Day is also celebrated on December 26th. Stephen one of Jesus' disciples. Shortly after Jesus' crucifixion he was accused of preaching blasphemy and he was stoned to death becoming the first Christian martyr. The Song "Good King Wenceslas" speaks of Stephen.
on the Feast of Stephen...."
Happy boxing day to all, and happy birthday daddy...though i couldn't spend it with you cause of the bloody SAF, i still love you..
hope everyone had a good christmas, and christmas eve... i know i did.
Saturday, December 25, 2004
merry christmas
hello to one and all. its cai at greg's house together with his trusty sidekick ian and jianhong. where's shaun?. he's awol but on the way i think. and where's lau. fucker. say u're part of the gift exchange and gathering and all that, but we can see from your eyes u werent interested. i mean, dont say ure gonna come just cos u WANNA come uknow. just say u cant make it and we'll be fine with that. at least when shaun's with a gf he doesnt behave like he's dying to be part of the group. we can deal with your absence. we really can. altho we like you to be around, we know u live with ah neh's so tend to be abit hard to come to the east. other than that, this christmas will be a sombre one. nothing wrong with that. just know our hat has only 5 names innit, rather than six. merry christmas to all the reveller out there. greg shaddup.
revellerS. signing out cos i have 3 pairs of eyes peEring down my shoulders.
IAN SHU UP.
shuT.
fuck off you guys
argh.
kill me now.
nOoOoOooO.
dont care why ian has to shut up.
jianhong shut up
revellerS. signing out cos i have 3 pairs of eyes peEring down my shoulders.
IAN SHU UP.
shuT.
fuck off you guys
argh.
kill me now.
nOoOoOooO.
dont care why ian has to shut up.
jianhong shut up
Friday, December 24, 2004
Monday, December 20, 2004
once again.
let's extend our arms and welcome back jh, frank, SIM, Gordon. haha. why, they're all one and the same. ever wondered how Gordon came about? anyway it was a name for good old sim jh a few years back. the old TEG(shaun, jh and me) were just hanging out after our usual supper at the KPT. walking over from there to jh's house, he asked us whether he should just an english name. you know, for business next time. he wanted to think of a serious name, one that adds weight and lends a certain maturity. so we gave it to him. Gordon. he hated it. so for us, it stuck. Gordon Sim JH. or rather Frank Gordon Sim JH now. haha, welcome back my friend. how's shanghai?
speaking of which, the accident yesterday was actually i suppose one of the luckier ones, i guess. since no one was really hurt in a gruesome way. the worst we saw of the 3 was a guy lying on the road, looking real dazed and bleeding from the nose and mouth. but somehow the thought of it struck me with numbing fear. it could've been alot worse, if not for their helmets. death is always gonna be a touchy subject. makes me remember about the time where my own army helmet saved my life. haha i bet none of you know of it, even TEG.
well, for those interested, it was during Ex. Spade in OCS then. digging trenches for 4 days and 3 nights in a row wasn't really very fun. it was in fact downright tiring. so much so that there are people who start hallucinating from lack of sleep. people who just collapse in fatigue and doze off halfway through digging. well my buddy and i were digging one such trench. it was the wee early hours of the morning of day 3, it was his turn to dig and mine to stay at the bottom to collect the loose soil he dug up to carry it to the surface. and so he was digging and i was collecting until i heard an ominous 'cunk' and got stunned for a moment. his hoe, the massive digging thing, hit my head. helmet rather. and left a mark there for all in the future to see. trust me, it wasn't easy to leave a dent in the army helmet, especially since it could deflect bullets. well, so out of concern, he stopped and asked me whether i was alright. thanks to the helmet i was and so i told him that i just need to sit for a while(recover from shock, heh) and so being the nice guy he was he sat to check if i was alright. well in the end, all i could say was, we were soon 5 hours behind everyone. oh oh, yeah, the moral of the story is that helmets saves lives.
anyway back to yesterday. national treasure is was quite a good show. with ms diane kruger. aka, ms helen of troy. aka, ms pretty hot according to cai. the story though was quite predictable actually. typical adventure thingy. the guys kept complaining it was so like angels and demons by dan brown. always following clues running around the world. etcetc. i wouldn't know. i don't read. all i know is the national treasure, which was 'too great for any one man to have, even the king', was such a obscene amount of bling that it made my lil heart flutter. for a moment. and to top it off, we saw star wars 3 trailer. dubbed revenge of the sith. ms natalie portman. beauty with brain personified. 'Lord Vader..', 'Yes, my master.(in that asthmatic voice)', 'Arise.' oooh, such ominous words.
speaking of which, the accident yesterday was actually i suppose one of the luckier ones, i guess. since no one was really hurt in a gruesome way. the worst we saw of the 3 was a guy lying on the road, looking real dazed and bleeding from the nose and mouth. but somehow the thought of it struck me with numbing fear. it could've been alot worse, if not for their helmets. death is always gonna be a touchy subject. makes me remember about the time where my own army helmet saved my life. haha i bet none of you know of it, even TEG.
well, for those interested, it was during Ex. Spade in OCS then. digging trenches for 4 days and 3 nights in a row wasn't really very fun. it was in fact downright tiring. so much so that there are people who start hallucinating from lack of sleep. people who just collapse in fatigue and doze off halfway through digging. well my buddy and i were digging one such trench. it was the wee early hours of the morning of day 3, it was his turn to dig and mine to stay at the bottom to collect the loose soil he dug up to carry it to the surface. and so he was digging and i was collecting until i heard an ominous 'cunk' and got stunned for a moment. his hoe, the massive digging thing, hit my head. helmet rather. and left a mark there for all in the future to see. trust me, it wasn't easy to leave a dent in the army helmet, especially since it could deflect bullets. well, so out of concern, he stopped and asked me whether i was alright. thanks to the helmet i was and so i told him that i just need to sit for a while(recover from shock, heh) and so being the nice guy he was he sat to check if i was alright. well in the end, all i could say was, we were soon 5 hours behind everyone. oh oh, yeah, the moral of the story is that helmets saves lives.
anyway back to yesterday. national treasure is was quite a good show. with ms diane kruger. aka, ms helen of troy. aka, ms pretty hot according to cai. the story though was quite predictable actually. typical adventure thingy. the guys kept complaining it was so like angels and demons by dan brown. always following clues running around the world. etcetc. i wouldn't know. i don't read. all i know is the national treasure, which was 'too great for any one man to have, even the king', was such a obscene amount of bling that it made my lil heart flutter. for a moment. and to top it off, we saw star wars 3 trailer. dubbed revenge of the sith. ms natalie portman. beauty with brain personified. 'Lord Vader..', 'Yes, my master.(in that asthmatic voice)', 'Arise.' oooh, such ominous words.
G'DAY FROM AUSTRALIA
feeling guilty of not going to camp.
thurs and fri mc. and leave today.
but its festive season dammit, and amy reasons are valid. why must a feel this way?. i wanna enjoy my leave too uknow.
sigh...anyway. got work so must make the best of tmr before xmas.
yday was great, walking around town shopping with greg ian shaun and dawn. quite rarely we gotta girl to go gaigai with us. unfortunately its abit unnerving the amount of inside jokes we had, and im sure we all hope dawn didnt mind. she handles it VERY well i must say, being the cool person she is. but this pandemic whereby all the girls in school seemed to have become more sombre is also well reflected in her. the craziness seemed t have been sucked outta them over the past school year. maybe its work, or boys or age. either ways girls of today are a far cry from yesterday. look at dawn now, she's all woman now and i think the guys would agree that we had a hard time trying not to leer. ahaha.. well she gets to choose her outfits so, at least i didnt get to see any metal.
oright after that we went for dinner and lan and movie at cine. spent quite a few hours day. record by any standards for sure.... i enjoyed lan, me and Ian. greg and shaun. and shaun's friends..the typical ac guys, also sombre by any standards. zhiguangs a scout!..hahaha well least somebody is. yea then we shared a cab home. ohyea, saw some accident where 3 people were lying on the road at 2am. very sad. please people be careful on the roads. motorbike hit an ah neh and then all 3 of them including pillion were just lying on the road outside city hall motionless. please people. try your best everyday to stay in one piece.
poor greg and shaun, going back to camp this morning musta sucked. nvm hang in there k.
im bored without u guys anyway so its no better. as for ian, oh yea pissed the shit outta be, but i think he's apologised and the one hour wait was forgetten really quick.
-gnawl-
bought my earphones.
today, i marry my guitar.
where's entertainment?!
thurs and fri mc. and leave today.
but its festive season dammit, and amy reasons are valid. why must a feel this way?. i wanna enjoy my leave too uknow.
sigh...anyway. got work so must make the best of tmr before xmas.
yday was great, walking around town shopping with greg ian shaun and dawn. quite rarely we gotta girl to go gaigai with us. unfortunately its abit unnerving the amount of inside jokes we had, and im sure we all hope dawn didnt mind. she handles it VERY well i must say, being the cool person she is. but this pandemic whereby all the girls in school seemed to have become more sombre is also well reflected in her. the craziness seemed t have been sucked outta them over the past school year. maybe its work, or boys or age. either ways girls of today are a far cry from yesterday. look at dawn now, she's all woman now and i think the guys would agree that we had a hard time trying not to leer. ahaha.. well she gets to choose her outfits so, at least i didnt get to see any metal.
oright after that we went for dinner and lan and movie at cine. spent quite a few hours day. record by any standards for sure.... i enjoyed lan, me and Ian. greg and shaun. and shaun's friends..the typical ac guys, also sombre by any standards. zhiguangs a scout!..hahaha well least somebody is. yea then we shared a cab home. ohyea, saw some accident where 3 people were lying on the road at 2am. very sad. please people be careful on the roads. motorbike hit an ah neh and then all 3 of them including pillion were just lying on the road outside city hall motionless. please people. try your best everyday to stay in one piece.
poor greg and shaun, going back to camp this morning musta sucked. nvm hang in there k.
im bored without u guys anyway so its no better. as for ian, oh yea pissed the shit outta be, but i think he's apologised and the one hour wait was forgetten really quick.
-gnawl-
bought my earphones.
today, i marry my guitar.
where's entertainment?!
Friday, December 17, 2004
shanghai tan
well at last i'm at shanghai.
after days in suzhou, wuxi, hangzhou i'm finally in shanghai.
this place is really pretty amazing. you'd never thought china would become like this.
as i was walking beside huangpu river on the puxi side, it feels like a dream.
wind blowing in your face, jacket pulled up to the neck, looking at the old colonial buildings spruced up to house modern banks, makes me wanna stay here forever.
well the chinese are very proud with their new shanghai, well they ought to be.
tmr's shopping. hope i get to see more dvds to buy. haha shaun sorry i left the place which sold naruto dvds already. tmr i'll try to find k ?
hangzhou was very pretty too. every turn in the garden looked like a picture perfect chinese painting. best place to retire, to get away from the hustle of the rat race. oh my mom loved the place so much she said shes gonna come back next year.
and did i mention my parents spent 300 bucks buying this teapot named " zi zhu chang le" pardon my hanyu pinyin. madness.
after days in suzhou, wuxi, hangzhou i'm finally in shanghai.
this place is really pretty amazing. you'd never thought china would become like this.
as i was walking beside huangpu river on the puxi side, it feels like a dream.
wind blowing in your face, jacket pulled up to the neck, looking at the old colonial buildings spruced up to house modern banks, makes me wanna stay here forever.
well the chinese are very proud with their new shanghai, well they ought to be.
tmr's shopping. hope i get to see more dvds to buy. haha shaun sorry i left the place which sold naruto dvds already. tmr i'll try to find k ?
hangzhou was very pretty too. every turn in the garden looked like a picture perfect chinese painting. best place to retire, to get away from the hustle of the rat race. oh my mom loved the place so much she said shes gonna come back next year.
and did i mention my parents spent 300 bucks buying this teapot named " zi zhu chang le" pardon my hanyu pinyin. madness.
psalm 23
the Lord is my shepherd
i shall not want
he makes me lie down in green pastures
he leads me beside quiet waters
he restores my soul
and guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death
i will fear no evil
for you are with me
your rod and your staff they comfort me
you prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies
you anoint my head with oil
my cup overflows
surely goodness and mercy will follow me
all the days of my life
and i will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.
i shall not want
he makes me lie down in green pastures
he leads me beside quiet waters
he restores my soul
and guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death
i will fear no evil
for you are with me
your rod and your staff they comfort me
you prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies
you anoint my head with oil
my cup overflows
surely goodness and mercy will follow me
all the days of my life
and i will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.
dick lee
omg, i digged up my old dick lee cd.
this trusty cd had a great part in helping me focus on my exams 2 years back.
and that song, ooh the windchime song. its so shiok.
i dont even know why.
im still looking for my ocs collections cd, for a good reminiscing time.
the past only serves to motivate you to make today better.
cos eventually today will be remembered.
i just found out from a friend that many people arent looking for a lifelong partner.
overtly. so its more of for fun and experience isnt it?.
and so, why not make it happy and sweet always?
and even if u are looking for a lifelong partner, keep it simple and sweet wont you?.
dont let norms or mindsets hamper your life.
dont fall sick no. u cant fall sick.
you're perfect. falling sick is not possible.
this trusty cd had a great part in helping me focus on my exams 2 years back.
and that song, ooh the windchime song. its so shiok.
i dont even know why.
im still looking for my ocs collections cd, for a good reminiscing time.
the past only serves to motivate you to make today better.
cos eventually today will be remembered.
i just found out from a friend that many people arent looking for a lifelong partner.
overtly. so its more of for fun and experience isnt it?.
and so, why not make it happy and sweet always?
and even if u are looking for a lifelong partner, keep it simple and sweet wont you?.
dont let norms or mindsets hamper your life.
dont fall sick no. u cant fall sick.
you're perfect. falling sick is not possible.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
too much thinking..
alright a big hello to everyone! i'm finally back... and i must say being an instructor in taiwan is absolutely the greatest! thanks to everyone who missed me! haha... and thanks to those who didn't miss me as well... when i walked thru the doors after picking up my luggage, i was kinda disappointed the she wasn't there... but i guess that's expected. (there's always the ambiguous shes' in shaun's blogs right? hahah. read where applicable)
anyway taiwan was like a reality trip for me. like a monk who has just been enlightened after walking to his temple somewhere far away and back. so i shall tell all of you what i've learnt, or come to realize about myself, after being extremely relaxed and taken care of in taiwan (not forgetting the times i've spent in solitude reading and reading...).
firstly, i've asked myself this over and over again during the 3 weeks:
"if you could be happy, really happy, for just awhile, but you knew from the start it would end in sadness and bring pain afterwards, would you choose to have that happiness or would you avoid it?"
and to this question i would answer yes with all my heart. yes this means i'm impetuous, irrational and impatient. and this is probably the source of my screw ups in life. but what the hell, i'm happy right? i'm doing what i want and taking risks, daring myself in ways i never would... and that itself is a joy. certain examples include prelims (wc3 lol) and of course love. this will be the way i live my life... something i wouldn't change because to me, it's worth it.
and to answer all of you, to give you guys an explanation for my indifference these few months, to my seclusion and withdrawel from the present living world, to my inferiority complex (haha some get my complaining worse than others - thx e*) and finally to my emotional masochism, i will tell you shaun is craving love. wait, don't hang up, turn away or cringe. i've put much thought into that senseless cliche of a phrase. One of the reasons why i crave love, and seek it so desperately, is that love is the only cure for loneliness, and shame and sorrow. But some feelings sink so deep into my heart that only loneliness can help me find them again. Some truths about myself are so painful that only shame can help me live with them. and somethings are just so sad that only my soul can do the crying for me. Without love, all i have are the three things.. loneliness above all. so i'm very sorry for being a depressed freak, and pissing everyone off.. i'm sorry for mumbling everytime i talk, and keeping to myself all the time. i'm especially sorry for my irritable nature, and expecting the world to revolve around me (but it should, shouldn't it?).
And loneliness? why is it that loneliness is what i have above all? loneliness takes everything, and gives us nothing in return. But for me, the nothingness that it gives me, the unfeeling emptiness it gives me, is sometimes all and everything i want...because there's a powerful emotion derived from it - hopeless depression. Always the top pick for an emotional masochist.
i understood myself better after uncovering all these about myself, and finally penning them down into words. the time spent along ridge lines on a hammock by myself for hours on end is worth it after all.. taiwan was really a nice vacation for both body and soul for me... i'm happier! finally! i still mumble though.
alright, after clearing the air, lemme continue.. christmas is coming! i haven't bought anything for the exchange present thing. can i give angbao? 50 bucks right? i give 50 bucks angbao. simple and applies to everyone. going back to camp on monday, hope to see you guys either tomorrow or the weekend.. i wanna play pool. dota? nah... going to catch up with my NFS as well. and oh my, everyone's shopping hopping mad. save money dudes..and babes, cause we'll all need it in uni.ok only applies to dudes. bah. okay shall end here. rather long post, sorry. oh yeah, MAJ Lam says i think too much, after reading my palm. how true is that...haha..
jh>> naruto! and other yummy anime. and nice epic shows! star wars epi 2... etc...and yes, dude where's my car!
ian>> no such thing as platonic unless your best girlfriend is fugly. frankly put. or if you're fugly.
lor>> call me
e*>> i got a nice handphone strap shit for you... come collect
and finally, true words of wisdom. to get the most susceptible lonely person craving love like me, out of trouble.
"It is always a fool's mistake to be alone with someone you shouldn't have loved."
anyway taiwan was like a reality trip for me. like a monk who has just been enlightened after walking to his temple somewhere far away and back. so i shall tell all of you what i've learnt, or come to realize about myself, after being extremely relaxed and taken care of in taiwan (not forgetting the times i've spent in solitude reading and reading...).
firstly, i've asked myself this over and over again during the 3 weeks:
"if you could be happy, really happy, for just awhile, but you knew from the start it would end in sadness and bring pain afterwards, would you choose to have that happiness or would you avoid it?"
and to this question i would answer yes with all my heart. yes this means i'm impetuous, irrational and impatient. and this is probably the source of my screw ups in life. but what the hell, i'm happy right? i'm doing what i want and taking risks, daring myself in ways i never would... and that itself is a joy. certain examples include prelims (wc3 lol) and of course love. this will be the way i live my life... something i wouldn't change because to me, it's worth it.
and to answer all of you, to give you guys an explanation for my indifference these few months, to my seclusion and withdrawel from the present living world, to my inferiority complex (haha some get my complaining worse than others - thx e*) and finally to my emotional masochism, i will tell you shaun is craving love. wait, don't hang up, turn away or cringe. i've put much thought into that senseless cliche of a phrase. One of the reasons why i crave love, and seek it so desperately, is that love is the only cure for loneliness, and shame and sorrow. But some feelings sink so deep into my heart that only loneliness can help me find them again. Some truths about myself are so painful that only shame can help me live with them. and somethings are just so sad that only my soul can do the crying for me. Without love, all i have are the three things.. loneliness above all. so i'm very sorry for being a depressed freak, and pissing everyone off.. i'm sorry for mumbling everytime i talk, and keeping to myself all the time. i'm especially sorry for my irritable nature, and expecting the world to revolve around me (but it should, shouldn't it?).
And loneliness? why is it that loneliness is what i have above all? loneliness takes everything, and gives us nothing in return. But for me, the nothingness that it gives me, the unfeeling emptiness it gives me, is sometimes all and everything i want...because there's a powerful emotion derived from it - hopeless depression. Always the top pick for an emotional masochist.
i understood myself better after uncovering all these about myself, and finally penning them down into words. the time spent along ridge lines on a hammock by myself for hours on end is worth it after all.. taiwan was really a nice vacation for both body and soul for me... i'm happier! finally! i still mumble though.
alright, after clearing the air, lemme continue.. christmas is coming! i haven't bought anything for the exchange present thing. can i give angbao? 50 bucks right? i give 50 bucks angbao. simple and applies to everyone. going back to camp on monday, hope to see you guys either tomorrow or the weekend.. i wanna play pool. dota? nah... going to catch up with my NFS as well. and oh my, everyone's shopping hopping mad. save money dudes..and babes, cause we'll all need it in uni.ok only applies to dudes. bah. okay shall end here. rather long post, sorry. oh yeah, MAJ Lam says i think too much, after reading my palm. how true is that...haha..
jh>> naruto! and other yummy anime. and nice epic shows! star wars epi 2... etc...and yes, dude where's my car!
ian>> no such thing as platonic unless your best girlfriend is fugly. frankly put. or if you're fugly.
lor>> call me
e*>> i got a nice handphone strap shit for you... come collect
and finally, true words of wisdom. to get the most susceptible lonely person craving love like me, out of trouble.
humdrum
1st of all let's welcome back our prodigal son from taiwan. Mr. STYX. why STYX? cos he's Shaun Tan Yu Xun. yay. due to be back anytime in the next 24hrs. what about dear sim jh? well, he's gone at least for 5 more days. so till then, The East Gang(TEG) shall stand depleted.
fyi, TEG is something started by styx, jh and me back in jc2. haha, started out as a mini clan for us while we played warcraft3 extensively DURING our prelims. or was it jc1 during promos? hmm, it's real fuzzy for me now but i remember it was during some major exam period. cos all of us lived in a small 1km radius of each other(me at Jalan Ishak, jh at Lorong Sarina and shaun happily at Lorong G), it was just natural for us to be gay and form a team. we were regulars at the now defunct GALAXY lanshop, Eunos Kopitiam(aptly called KPT) and Kim San Leng(another place similar to KPT). eventually, we broadened our circle and added in cai and greg cos lo and behold! they lived in the east as well! cai at East Coast and greg at Ceylon Road near our dear President. so the 5 of us eventually became known as the current TEG. we're usually spotted at parkway. loitering, sometimes playing pool but most of the time just DOTA-ing our lives away. 3-4 yrs down the road and somehow TEG's back at warcraft3. tsk tsk. good things always come back to you. somehow or rather. i know to alot of you readers out there, what i've just said would be absolute Greek but stand in the comfort that you are not alone. and so is the history of TEG. oh yes, TEG is but a small piece of cyberpark. as for cyberpark's history well, it's beyond even me. i hope that helped to shed some light on this shady group.
ok, back to what i was supposed to say. well something rather just occurred to me today. although it seems like maybe some of you have known for an eternity, that it's rather difficult that guys and girls have platonic relationship somehow. don't you think? i don't know but somehow or rather, there's always some string attached somewhere. if there's no string, there's no relationship, or rather there's just maybe hi bye kinda friends. light chatter kinda stuff. it's hard to meet a girl/guy who's willing to sit down and just talk or go out or play or whatever just simply because you're friends. it's not impossible, it's just very difficult. somehow someway, one side is always leaning onto hopes that the relation may turn out not so platonic. isn't that true? think about your relationships with the other side, if he/she can ask u out fine and dandy for anything at all, and you'd have no qualms about saying yes(provided you don't have an other half), do you have any personal motive? can u really just treat him/her as a good friend? and have him/her treat you back just the same?
having said that, think about this situation for awhile: a person(A) could be very eager in asking someone out, to get to know him/her(B) better. B might not be as keen or interested initially but after some time, B becomes increasing smitten with A(for whatever A has done, intentionally or unintentionally). but A may not be heading in that direction and mistakenly B thinks A is just playing around when A is just actually looking for a platonic relationship. think about it. was there anytime you were A? or were you B? sometimes when you're in this situation(esp B), you can't help but think the worst but sometimes, it's just a case of mistaken intentions. so whatever the situation, A or B should never shy away from each other cos if things go well, who knows what'll happen. if things go bad, hey, at least you still have a friendship.
my my, this is such a long post! ok, to end it off, i'll just say that it's difficult for people to express what feel and awkward too in that sense, to verbalise their emotions in such a way. so in that case, just let things flow. if it's meant to be, then it will surely be. don't force the way for it might turn out worse. for matters of the heart cannot be forced.
fyi, TEG is something started by styx, jh and me back in jc2. haha, started out as a mini clan for us while we played warcraft3 extensively DURING our prelims. or was it jc1 during promos? hmm, it's real fuzzy for me now but i remember it was during some major exam period. cos all of us lived in a small 1km radius of each other(me at Jalan Ishak, jh at Lorong Sarina and shaun happily at Lorong G), it was just natural for us to be gay and form a team. we were regulars at the now defunct GALAXY lanshop, Eunos Kopitiam(aptly called KPT) and Kim San Leng(another place similar to KPT). eventually, we broadened our circle and added in cai and greg cos lo and behold! they lived in the east as well! cai at East Coast and greg at Ceylon Road near our dear President. so the 5 of us eventually became known as the current TEG. we're usually spotted at parkway. loitering, sometimes playing pool but most of the time just DOTA-ing our lives away. 3-4 yrs down the road and somehow TEG's back at warcraft3. tsk tsk. good things always come back to you. somehow or rather. i know to alot of you readers out there, what i've just said would be absolute Greek but stand in the comfort that you are not alone. and so is the history of TEG. oh yes, TEG is but a small piece of cyberpark. as for cyberpark's history well, it's beyond even me. i hope that helped to shed some light on this shady group.
ok, back to what i was supposed to say. well something rather just occurred to me today. although it seems like maybe some of you have known for an eternity, that it's rather difficult that guys and girls have platonic relationship somehow. don't you think? i don't know but somehow or rather, there's always some string attached somewhere. if there's no string, there's no relationship, or rather there's just maybe hi bye kinda friends. light chatter kinda stuff. it's hard to meet a girl/guy who's willing to sit down and just talk or go out or play or whatever just simply because you're friends. it's not impossible, it's just very difficult. somehow someway, one side is always leaning onto hopes that the relation may turn out not so platonic. isn't that true? think about your relationships with the other side, if he/she can ask u out fine and dandy for anything at all, and you'd have no qualms about saying yes(provided you don't have an other half), do you have any personal motive? can u really just treat him/her as a good friend? and have him/her treat you back just the same?
having said that, think about this situation for awhile: a person(A) could be very eager in asking someone out, to get to know him/her(B) better. B might not be as keen or interested initially but after some time, B becomes increasing smitten with A(for whatever A has done, intentionally or unintentionally). but A may not be heading in that direction and mistakenly B thinks A is just playing around when A is just actually looking for a platonic relationship. think about it. was there anytime you were A? or were you B? sometimes when you're in this situation(esp B), you can't help but think the worst but sometimes, it's just a case of mistaken intentions. so whatever the situation, A or B should never shy away from each other cos if things go well, who knows what'll happen. if things go bad, hey, at least you still have a friendship.
my my, this is such a long post! ok, to end it off, i'll just say that it's difficult for people to express what feel and awkward too in that sense, to verbalise their emotions in such a way. so in that case, just let things flow. if it's meant to be, then it will surely be. don't force the way for it might turn out worse. for matters of the heart cannot be forced.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
dvd heaven
heyy guys hows everyone ?
shanghai's great. got out of the plane at 6am shanghai time and was left stranded on the tarmac because the bus that ferries the passengers to the terminal was packed. talk about cold. talk about service. lol the wind draft was horrible and the only thing shielding the poor group of passengers was the plane's wheels. not much of a shelter. brr.
anyways was shopping around the hotel and chanced upon this dvd/vcd/cd shop. i got a shock of my life when the owner said dvds were going for 7rmb. which is... about 1plus sing. 1 PLUS! for a pirated one la... but still?!! i bought bags of dvds and cds. let you'll see them when i get back.. godfather series, pianist, incredibles, terminal, windtalkers, some old shows but classics. heh. especially windtalkers. for GREG! still remember that time? you jio us go watch the show but u didn't watch it.. i wonder why....
will be going to hangzhou tmr for a day of scenery and greenery and mountainery. think i'll be sleeping on the coach instead.. btw shaun if u see this, i saw a naruto dvd set episodes 1-111 for 16rmb which is 3 sing bucks? do you want it ? msg me quickly...
another time,
jh
shanghai's great. got out of the plane at 6am shanghai time and was left stranded on the tarmac because the bus that ferries the passengers to the terminal was packed. talk about cold. talk about service. lol the wind draft was horrible and the only thing shielding the poor group of passengers was the plane's wheels. not much of a shelter. brr.
anyways was shopping around the hotel and chanced upon this dvd/vcd/cd shop. i got a shock of my life when the owner said dvds were going for 7rmb. which is... about 1plus sing. 1 PLUS! for a pirated one la... but still?!! i bought bags of dvds and cds. let you'll see them when i get back.. godfather series, pianist, incredibles, terminal, windtalkers, some old shows but classics. heh. especially windtalkers. for GREG! still remember that time? you jio us go watch the show but u didn't watch it.. i wonder why....
will be going to hangzhou tmr for a day of scenery and greenery and mountainery. think i'll be sleeping on the coach instead.. btw shaun if u see this, i saw a naruto dvd set episodes 1-111 for 16rmb which is 3 sing bucks? do you want it ? msg me quickly...
another time,
jh
rather interesting.
i picked this up from the net:
This is very interesting. See if you have a problem reading it:
I cdnuol't blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thuohgt slpeling was ipmorantt!
kinda cool.
me and my Aldo shoes: 18-12-04
This is very interesting. See if you have a problem reading it:
I cdnuol't blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thuohgt slpeling was ipmorantt!
kinda cool.
me and my Aldo shoes: 18-12-04
Monday, December 13, 2004
atm, cash, credit, cheques.
did i say that ashley judd's the most desirable woman?
any lookalikes out there.?. please call 6-ISLEPTWITHSANTA.
sigh taking leave is boring. somebody save my wrecthed soul.
sunder?
any lookalikes out there.?. please call 6-ISLEPTWITHSANTA.
sigh taking leave is boring. somebody save my wrecthed soul.
sunder?
bottomless hole- tanya chua
ian didnt mention that was my bedsheets in the background of his xmas collection eh. haha...damn gay. dunno what kinda arrangement until ian sleep on my bed and i sleep on the mattress. anyway, the last two days of shopping in town with ian was good, tho we didnt see many people in town, spying on kaixiang or contemplating picking up girls who were checking out calvin klein boxers were particularly memorable. haha well here's cai's christmas shoppping bounty, unlike ian, i didnt spend half my pay yet, unfortunately my shopping isnt done yet.
versace baby blue jeans edt x2
dior addict edt
clinique simply edt
lancome miracle homme edt - $60 donated to sasa foundation
renoma boxers x2
bum equipment boxers - $30 donated to isetan singapore
black shoes - $159 donated to zara (i went with ian remember?)
my sis took the clinique simply already. and i gave one of the versace edts away, so girls please apply for one. grand prize is the aldo ring which has been sitting on my desk waiting for me to give away to someone special. haha im such a fucking slut. got someone in mind for the dior cos she's an addict. but i dont have that many girl friends so i guess i could hold on to them.
and as for the rest, they're all mine..haha....as ian said. merry christmas to me.=]
i need a new phone too, bloody samsung x430 sucks so bad. no wonder they paid me to use the phone. and the customer service personnel were great. cept they didnt fix the problem.
swine..
playing in the background so soothingly is my new chinese cd. haha that cost 20 bucks but thats not counted its priceless.
all i want for christmas, honestly, is stability.
versace baby blue jeans edt x2
dior addict edt
clinique simply edt
lancome miracle homme edt - $60 donated to sasa foundation
renoma boxers x2
bum equipment boxers - $30 donated to isetan singapore
black shoes - $159 donated to zara (i went with ian remember?)
my sis took the clinique simply already. and i gave one of the versace edts away, so girls please apply for one. grand prize is the aldo ring which has been sitting on my desk waiting for me to give away to someone special. haha im such a fucking slut. got someone in mind for the dior cos she's an addict. but i dont have that many girl friends so i guess i could hold on to them.
and as for the rest, they're all mine..haha....as ian said. merry christmas to me.=]
i need a new phone too, bloody samsung x430 sucks so bad. no wonder they paid me to use the phone. and the customer service personnel were great. cept they didnt fix the problem.
swine..
playing in the background so soothingly is my new chinese cd. haha that cost 20 bucks but thats not counted its priceless.
all i want for christmas, honestly, is stability.
(s)hopping mad!
this weekend has been insane for me. a whirlwind of shopping. shopping mad!!
Zara checkered long sleeve shirt: $89.90
Zara dark blue boxers: $17.90
Zara Mr. Fantastic white tee: $34.90
Zara EDT:$52.90
Clinique Happy for men: $42.90
Aldo Morandi black leather loafers: $269.00
Merry Christmas.... to me!!
oh oh, i'm sorry. Merry Christmas to all you guys too yeah?
Fact of the Day(FotD): You know you really like something/someone when it's/they're all you have on your mind. =)
Zara checkered long sleeve shirt: $89.90
Zara dark blue boxers: $17.90
Zara Mr. Fantastic white tee: $34.90
Zara EDT:$52.90
Clinique Happy for men: $42.90
Aldo Morandi black leather loafers: $269.00
Merry Christmas.... to me!!
oh oh, i'm sorry. Merry Christmas to all you guys too yeah?
Fact of the Day(FotD): You know you really like something/someone when it's/they're all you have on your mind. =)
Saturday, December 11, 2004
thank God.
ok whats with my week ? i'm at the lanshop again, hah with cai on my left and ian on my right. yep yesterday was great. went for Guards dinner and dance and thought it was a freaking waste of money. 90 bucks in furama hotel, can you believe it? more ex than prom in ritz.. anyways my mood changed when i heard " and 7th prize is 087!!" .. i was like, ok i think thats me. THATS ME! won myself a dvd home theatre set. goodness. had to LUG it all the way to parkway from furama cos dota beckoned and LUGGED it back home.
ok. today was great too, went for dental with my mom and spent 250 laminating my teeth. *smile* went for katong laksa with her and visited grace at awfully chocolate! i tell you, the chocolate icecreams and cakes there are delicious. beautiful shop, quality food and fantastic music cos i put in my frank sinatra sax cd. b-e-a-u-tifulll.
went shopping with ian and cai at zara cos i was looking for a jacket for my trip to shanghai next week. picked up this brown rusty leather jacket and they both agreed its damn nice so i bought it! went searching for a present for my mom next and walked into lee hwa.. yeh its been a long time since i bought her something, and if i bought my mom something, she deserves much much more than anyone in this world. settled for a nice diamond necklance. not too ex la, i'm on a budget.
left the guys for cell group at 5 and had a great time there too. so there. i'm back here. dota-ing.
-
it is only at his time, when all things seemed beautiful.
ok whats with my week ? i'm at the lanshop again, hah with cai on my left and ian on my right. yep yesterday was great. went for Guards dinner and dance and thought it was a freaking waste of money. 90 bucks in furama hotel, can you believe it? more ex than prom in ritz.. anyways my mood changed when i heard " and 7th prize is 087!!" .. i was like, ok i think thats me. THATS ME! won myself a dvd home theatre set. goodness. had to LUG it all the way to parkway from furama cos dota beckoned and LUGGED it back home.
ok. today was great too, went for dental with my mom and spent 250 laminating my teeth. *smile* went for katong laksa with her and visited grace at awfully chocolate! i tell you, the chocolate icecreams and cakes there are delicious. beautiful shop, quality food and fantastic music cos i put in my frank sinatra sax cd. b-e-a-u-tifulll.
went shopping with ian and cai at zara cos i was looking for a jacket for my trip to shanghai next week. picked up this brown rusty leather jacket and they both agreed its damn nice so i bought it! went searching for a present for my mom next and walked into lee hwa.. yeh its been a long time since i bought her something, and if i bought my mom something, she deserves much much more than anyone in this world. settled for a nice diamond necklance. not too ex la, i'm on a budget.
left the guys for cell group at 5 and had a great time there too. so there. i'm back here. dota-ing.
-
it is only at his time, when all things seemed beautiful.
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
new
something new has overcome me.
ffx.
i can't seem to stop playing it, its damn nice! yes call me slow.. but its a good game. and i've only started playing. so don't spoil the game by telling me the ending. shh!
anyways, guys i'll be going off to shanghai next week, so anything you'll want ? i think i'll be doing most of my christmas shopping there..
messenger bags anyone?
quick quick 2004 end quick..
ffx.
i can't seem to stop playing it, its damn nice! yes call me slow.. but its a good game. and i've only started playing. so don't spoil the game by telling me the ending. shh!
anyways, guys i'll be going off to shanghai next week, so anything you'll want ? i think i'll be doing most of my christmas shopping there..
messenger bags anyone?
quick quick 2004 end quick..
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
late
in many ways late. photos were hell late. too lazy to post em up. thanks to the wonders of technology. bluetoothed from phone to computer and hello-ed to blogspot. this bluetooth thingy is starting to get real handy.
anyway, back to zoukout. seb fontaine, satoshi tomiie, timo maas, jazzy jeff and my beloved andrew chow. nothing compares to this anywhere else on the island. words fail me. and i danced the night away. somehow, walking back to rasa on barefeet wasn't such a great idea. halfway down the road, up pops comes a convenient bus. flag it down and ride it home.
late also coz, what in the world am i up so late? 5am and not asleep. i could only be playing half life 2. sadly, it seems that i'm done with it. last shot out. bang bang boom. roll credits. honestly, it's a great game. striking down gunships and striders with RPGs while risking instant death was downright pants-wetting. mmm, looks like i'm gonna be done with NFSU2 soon as well. 10-star rating, fully souped up Miata MX-5, RX-8 and Audi TT. yeah, a few races and it's over. time for new distractions? WoW? are u drooling yet shaun? at 130bucks, it's one expensive game to buy. at an extra US30(?) bucks / month, and it becomes insane. but it looks cool. we'll see how it goes.
games have taken over my life. this week alone, between zoukout and now, my schedule is just gaming and meeting the guys down east, for? more games. (notice the lack of SLEEP) the only time i slept and oh so soundly was right after zoukout. haha collapsed on the bed and laid there till the end of time. end of our time really, coz we had to 'book out' (right, cai?) by 12. apparently, hamsters were spotted in our room, while i was asleep. tsk, pity i couldn't catch a glimpse.
i'm sorry if my chain of thought is screwed. i haven't slept since 12 on sunday. brain's a lil messed up by my lack of sleep and intense radiation from the computer. well anyway, time for me to take to my bed now. FINALLY. let us rejoice. sorry. let ME rejoice.
oh yeah, i need more msn contacts. but i'm too lazy to add people, while some people just don't like to share contacts, so, why not u all add me instead? del_x@hotmail.com. chat?
anyway, back to zoukout. seb fontaine, satoshi tomiie, timo maas, jazzy jeff and my beloved andrew chow. nothing compares to this anywhere else on the island. words fail me. and i danced the night away. somehow, walking back to rasa on barefeet wasn't such a great idea. halfway down the road, up pops comes a convenient bus. flag it down and ride it home.
late also coz, what in the world am i up so late? 5am and not asleep. i could only be playing half life 2. sadly, it seems that i'm done with it. last shot out. bang bang boom. roll credits. honestly, it's a great game. striking down gunships and striders with RPGs while risking instant death was downright pants-wetting. mmm, looks like i'm gonna be done with NFSU2 soon as well. 10-star rating, fully souped up Miata MX-5, RX-8 and Audi TT. yeah, a few races and it's over. time for new distractions? WoW? are u drooling yet shaun? at 130bucks, it's one expensive game to buy. at an extra US30(?) bucks / month, and it becomes insane. but it looks cool. we'll see how it goes.
games have taken over my life. this week alone, between zoukout and now, my schedule is just gaming and meeting the guys down east, for? more games. (notice the lack of SLEEP) the only time i slept and oh so soundly was right after zoukout. haha collapsed on the bed and laid there till the end of time. end of our time really, coz we had to 'book out' (right, cai?) by 12. apparently, hamsters were spotted in our room, while i was asleep. tsk, pity i couldn't catch a glimpse.
i'm sorry if my chain of thought is screwed. i haven't slept since 12 on sunday. brain's a lil messed up by my lack of sleep and intense radiation from the computer. well anyway, time for me to take to my bed now. FINALLY. let us rejoice. sorry. let ME rejoice.
oh yeah, i need more msn contacts. but i'm too lazy to add people, while some people just don't like to share contacts, so, why not u all add me instead? del_x@hotmail.com. chat?
Monday, December 06, 2004
from her, for her.
for lisa
winter,
love's always in the air
blind cupid shooting arrows everywhere
i've been wounded by one thats going to change my life complete
vows of love for eternity exchange and meant to keep
but you broke it.
words just can't explain the pain and my feelings
how can you mend back the pain, without meaning ?
spring,
love remains in my heart
only time can prove my love for you, but
give me a chance and not just let it pass through
i want to say i'm sorry and for all the hurt i've caused you
please come back to me again
summer,
love's playing games with me
images in which superficial sights give
hey, stop cheating my feelings already
i've cried for you too much
that my tears seem to lose its touch
Autumn,
love's saddest season of all
the feelings wither, the leaves fall
i'm still praying and waiting for you
that one day, my wish will come true
and i can whisper how much i love you
winter,
love's always in the air
blind cupid shooting arrows everywhere
i've been wounded by one thats going to change my life complete
vows of love for eternity exchange and meant to keep
but you broke it.
words just can't explain the pain and my feelings
how can you mend back the pain, without meaning ?
spring,
love remains in my heart
only time can prove my love for you, but
give me a chance and not just let it pass through
i want to say i'm sorry and for all the hurt i've caused you
please come back to me again
summer,
love's playing games with me
images in which superficial sights give
hey, stop cheating my feelings already
i've cried for you too much
that my tears seem to lose its touch
Autumn,
love's saddest season of all
the feelings wither, the leaves fall
i'm still praying and waiting for you
that one day, my wish will come true
and i can whisper how much i love you
boulevard of broken dreams
yeah zoukout was fun. didn't you guys see me? i was with this hot chick.
it's starting to freeze around here. i'm shivering everyday. and the blanket is too thin. i haven't been doing much, the next time i'm supposed to go outfield is on the 9th. for ex finale. then after that it's glorious rnr! coming back soon to the people who love and miss me(hurhur). can't wait. only regret is that i've to go back to work. oh the politics. i can smell it from here.
funny how sometimes somethings have to go wrong before it can become right. and sometimes people have to do silly, dangerous things to get the right attention. and then the first sentence can apply. clueless? good.
friends are the best things in the world. that's all i can say...
holy grail?. hahha..shit.
okay its cai's turn. unfortunately this sms whore doesnt have a nice camera inbuilt in my phone.
quote me at 6am. "anybody has a handphone in the camera?" zouk out was fun=]. i mean u dont have to love timo mas and paul van dyk to have a good time right. give me andrew chow and some retro shit anytime. kenneth really made me laugh like mad man.. his gang is seriously one big piece of hilarious shit. damn pro too.
watched a documentary on local music today, and andrew chow was there. i really like the dude.
no famous rnb dj's out there to give him some competition?. heh... well for my first zoukout, it was good i must say. worth all that money spent. well im sorry, cant put a finger on it. just know it was good yea. missed shaun and jianhong. but yea. they mature so fast they're starting to make babies already. and i still have no girlfriend.
heh.
abit of a block here. ahha...reminiscing suddenly made my mind go blank.
signing off here.
somebody soothe my aching feet.
quote me at 6am. "anybody has a handphone in the camera?" zouk out was fun=]. i mean u dont have to love timo mas and paul van dyk to have a good time right. give me andrew chow and some retro shit anytime. kenneth really made me laugh like mad man.. his gang is seriously one big piece of hilarious shit. damn pro too.
watched a documentary on local music today, and andrew chow was there. i really like the dude.
no famous rnb dj's out there to give him some competition?. heh... well for my first zoukout, it was good i must say. worth all that money spent. well im sorry, cant put a finger on it. just know it was good yea. missed shaun and jianhong. but yea. they mature so fast they're starting to make babies already. and i still have no girlfriend.
heh.
abit of a block here. ahha...reminiscing suddenly made my mind go blank.
signing off here.
somebody soothe my aching feet.
Sunday, December 05, 2004
ZOUK OUT
A flaming success if i can say so myself.
so many big names, so little time. trudging up n down tanjong beach was still well worth it. All i can say is tt zouk out is back. no more muddy marina south. its back where it really belongs. sand between ur feet, sea breeze in ur face! wheeet! haha
FUP ( or form up pt ) for the benefit of those who do not understand the term was room 858 at the rasa sentosa. Personel involved---lau, ian, cai, david, yuehow, jess(ahem) n lastly myself.Before anything we anted up n Movement down to the beach bare footed was the decision made. was regretting it a lil but hey when i got there n saw all the homeless slippers lying all over the place, i realised tt it was a good call.
Met many many ppl. lets see to name a few there were the army friends, jill, shar n char, sab, nic mok, liwen, joanna, tiff, mig, haaran, emil etc etc.
spent most of the time at the main arena where all the international dj's were spinning with the occasional walk to the mambo jumbo section to please a few die hard r&b lovers.
hmm kk shall leave the rest of the details to the other members of the crew. can say im suffering from severe sleep deprevation. 24km on thurs, woke up early for BMTC family day on sat n slept 3 hrs max after the event due to reasons i refuse to elaborate on. Breakfast was outstanding tho.. right lau?
haha n in conclusion. i think the hamsters were damn cute! shall respect their decision n not post anything in relation to tt =) apologies for the lack of flow. my thoughts are still a lil jumbled up. good night everyone!. till next yr.
so many big names, so little time. trudging up n down tanjong beach was still well worth it. All i can say is tt zouk out is back. no more muddy marina south. its back where it really belongs. sand between ur feet, sea breeze in ur face! wheeet! haha
FUP ( or form up pt ) for the benefit of those who do not understand the term was room 858 at the rasa sentosa. Personel involved---lau, ian, cai, david, yuehow, jess(ahem) n lastly myself.Before anything we anted up n Movement down to the beach bare footed was the decision made. was regretting it a lil but hey when i got there n saw all the homeless slippers lying all over the place, i realised tt it was a good call.
Met many many ppl. lets see to name a few there were the army friends, jill, shar n char, sab, nic mok, liwen, joanna, tiff, mig, haaran, emil etc etc.
spent most of the time at the main arena where all the international dj's were spinning with the occasional walk to the mambo jumbo section to please a few die hard r&b lovers.
hmm kk shall leave the rest of the details to the other members of the crew. can say im suffering from severe sleep deprevation. 24km on thurs, woke up early for BMTC family day on sat n slept 3 hrs max after the event due to reasons i refuse to elaborate on. Breakfast was outstanding tho.. right lau?
haha n in conclusion. i think the hamsters were damn cute! shall respect their decision n not post anything in relation to tt =) apologies for the lack of flow. my thoughts are still a lil jumbled up. good night everyone!. till next yr.
Thursday, December 02, 2004
and all things must come to an end..
hello from lovely taiwan... just came back from ex Red Beret.. was outfield since monday. Did you know that red beret is now 2 and a half days? and they walk less than 20km. without rifle and helmet as well.. i feel so cheated. some teams finished on the first day afternoon. haha... oh well. Outfield was fun. all i did was man the Log point/relay point/Central with my PC and chief safety, 3 sigs and a medic. not forgetting 4 of my own Bn drivers. pretty fun! sleep, eat, sleep, eat, sleep. cook canned food, wait for ninja van, drink some taiwan alcohol (pretty strong! 58%. burns your throat and makes you all warm inside in less than 5 mins). i slept on the ridgeline for 2 nights. hammock + sleeping bag + gortex + gloves + snow cap makes shaun a happy boy. listened to all my mp3s the whole outfield. i love the time spent alone on my hammock just swinging away, listening to jazz and sometimes if i'm sinful, rnb, and just feeling the wind swirl all around me. seriously good stuff.
typhoon supposedly to hit tomorrow - it's just a rumour or something but i don't mind - i just hope that nothing will affect the rnr. really looking forward to it. it's 9days till rnr, 2 exercises left, and all i'm supposed to do is be enemy for both of them. I LOVE THIS PLACE! miss you all lots, bet i'm being trashed in NFS now... 'm using an rx 8 with star rating 6.5. i think you guys prob unlocked all the god damned cars by now. plus dota. all pros now i can see. who's going to WoW with me? noone. ok my post is getting erratic.
christmas is coming. and i ran out of things to type. will post pictures when i get a chance. which means when i get home.
lau>> condolences, take care alright? if you need anything just lemme know...
typhoon supposedly to hit tomorrow - it's just a rumour or something but i don't mind - i just hope that nothing will affect the rnr. really looking forward to it. it's 9days till rnr, 2 exercises left, and all i'm supposed to do is be enemy for both of them. I LOVE THIS PLACE! miss you all lots, bet i'm being trashed in NFS now... 'm using an rx 8 with star rating 6.5. i think you guys prob unlocked all the god damned cars by now. plus dota. all pros now i can see. who's going to WoW with me? noone. ok my post is getting erratic.
christmas is coming. and i ran out of things to type. will post pictures when i get a chance. which means when i get home.
lau>> condolences, take care alright? if you need anything just lemme know...
Sunday, November 28, 2004
christmasssssss
oh the weather outside is frightful,
and the fire is so delightful.
since we've no place to go,
let it snow let it snow let it snow.
times of the past
the guys have spoken, maybe i should too..
i find that this blog's turning into an avenue of reminiscense, which isn't a bad thing really. in fact, its great. it should be. really miss those times of the past. and after yesterday meeting with ian greg and cai (SHAUN WHERE ARE YOU ?), i find that i really really miss those days of yesteryear. sorry for being the THIRD post to whine/sob/lament about this but its true, true. but i'm so glad theres still this blog going along, surviving all tribulations, and welcoming newer, fresher, better things to come.
i'm a person who looks to the future. i love looking forward to things, fun things, albeit unexpected, i still look forward to that. however, the past 2 years have been a terror. this past year in particular. bad things come together, they say. i second that. the only things keeping me together are my true friends, my faith and of course, my mom.
you used to think that having a huge circle of friends was "cool", saying hi to everyone, going for parties, getting invites to birthdays, knowing whos who of whats what. ah shit. what nonsense. like it or not, when shit happens, only your true friends will stick by you. no one else. no, not the happening party dude whom you used to challenge mugs of beer over. no, not the muscular rugby player whom you used to think would introduce you to more cool friends. no, not the seemingly good girl friends whom you used to talk to but are now overseas and busy with older, richer, more good-looking guys (oh there're hordes of examples, ok maybe legions). yeh, i was deluded, i was wrong.
nothing matters to me more than having a good bunch of loyalist friends. i've had 2 gfs in the past 4 years, but the group of guys remain the same. doesn't that say a lot ? sorry peeps, but i don't really enjoy clubbing and huge crowds and meeting new pretty people, making small talk anymore. i'm just sick of that. give me a one-on-one conversation with a kind soul, or just a supper in eunos with the dota gang, anytime.
nothing matters anymore.
i find that this blog's turning into an avenue of reminiscense, which isn't a bad thing really. in fact, its great. it should be. really miss those times of the past. and after yesterday meeting with ian greg and cai (SHAUN WHERE ARE YOU ?), i find that i really really miss those days of yesteryear. sorry for being the THIRD post to whine/sob/lament about this but its true, true. but i'm so glad theres still this blog going along, surviving all tribulations, and welcoming newer, fresher, better things to come.
i'm a person who looks to the future. i love looking forward to things, fun things, albeit unexpected, i still look forward to that. however, the past 2 years have been a terror. this past year in particular. bad things come together, they say. i second that. the only things keeping me together are my true friends, my faith and of course, my mom.
you used to think that having a huge circle of friends was "cool", saying hi to everyone, going for parties, getting invites to birthdays, knowing whos who of whats what. ah shit. what nonsense. like it or not, when shit happens, only your true friends will stick by you. no one else. no, not the happening party dude whom you used to challenge mugs of beer over. no, not the muscular rugby player whom you used to think would introduce you to more cool friends. no, not the seemingly good girl friends whom you used to talk to but are now overseas and busy with older, richer, more good-looking guys (oh there're hordes of examples, ok maybe legions). yeh, i was deluded, i was wrong.
nothing matters to me more than having a good bunch of loyalist friends. i've had 2 gfs in the past 4 years, but the group of guys remain the same. doesn't that say a lot ? sorry peeps, but i don't really enjoy clubbing and huge crowds and meeting new pretty people, making small talk anymore. i'm just sick of that. give me a one-on-one conversation with a kind soul, or just a supper in eunos with the dota gang, anytime.
nothing matters anymore.
point me in the right direction
I wanna ORD... please? can i do it tdy? ok fine, how bout next wk then. hmm its been too long since i last posted. Not sure what ive been up to but yeah i think laziness has to be the biggest factor. yup. definitely laziness. So i have to thank mandy for pointing me in the right direction n giving me the determination to log in! ur right knw.. once ur in everything just comes out!
Shall start to give my insight on dota too. lina inverse, dragon paw, laguna blade, Aghanim's scepter, satanic = 1900hp/2011mana n 1 kick ass bitch. jus turned down an offer to go play tdy with cai n ian. i presume jh is out somewhere dg sth. hmm looking our dear franky makes me feel a lil guilty. why? cos he is apparently starting down the path of christianity, gg toi cell grp n all n here i am a back sliding christian who has not been to church for the past 1 yr n never belonged to a cell grp due to other commitments i.e. sailing at tt point of time. hmm. time to do some reflection n soul searching.
On to better things then. Sitting at the eunos kopi tiam with my milo peng n watching jh eat his supper while we ( cai n ian included) talked bout the past brought back fond memories. im sorry tt ppl thought u guys were me alright?! haha its not my fault. the topic of sizing up the ac asshole n chinese high fucker who were in the same class. =) the line of "when 2 guys met 3 guys n they got along" yeah! brotherhood forever! kk enough of the sappy stuff.
Been home alone this week end n hmm i have to say it aint all tt easy to stay alone. for starters dg ur own laundry n ironing is a bitch. considering the amt of clothes i bring back from camp each week. thanks mom. looking after the dog is also quite hard n sth which i have overlooked cos i normally wake up so damn late. washing the porch n front door of his pee at 1 in the morning definitely aint fun. but i still love my dog anyway. sleep has been restless these few days too. lots of stuff on my mind. life is quite messy now actually. n when i finally start to get some rest i get woken up at 8 in the morn due to banging drums n the lion dance troupe. some open piece of land near my place jus got redeveloped in to a park n i immediately recalled the sign i saw when i took my dog for a walk jus a few hrs earlier. "Opening of carpmeal rd park on the 28th of nov by MP mr chan soo sen" bloody fucker.
squire
more dota.. im such a dota whore.. but at least im using the hotkeys better now. using my 5000 HP lycantrophy or Chen or Demon Witch, im pretty decent lah.
still lousy but not that bad now..
laugh at me. but this means something to me at this point in time. snigger, but i'll get the last laugh. just let me get my heart of tarresque first ok?
bought jh's discman from lucky plaza today, funny how things work out today.
marche dinner and just watching people go by in town. went with greg to beach rd to sew on his 2nd sgt rank which was pretty cool. roof's on fire he says.
met mr stuart little.=]
i love my friends. its great to reminisce, then realize the times we live in now are to be cherished, not whined about cos it really aint that bad.
come on...we deduced that jc was fun!. but whilst we were there i bet we'd say otherwise.
i love my guitar too. i shall not let it turn to driftwood tho.
me and greg. and how far back we stretch. even the girls will see it as a daunting effort, getting between us. to think we can say decade already.
my com's a mess...cant find the driver to install my ABIT NF7 series motherboard. so if anyone's got the cd please! lend me k?....then can install my sound card and graphics card too!
i wrote my first meaningful poem few days ago. i must say i thought it was nice.. too bad it wasnt appreciated. and its lost in space now. i love limericks and alliterations...is it a fad? but i just kept hearing em today...
im quite a mean person if i wanna be i learn.
thats good so good lucks to people who try to fuck me up.
i ried to swindle the beach rd auntie, the lucky plaza discman seller, and got proj bloodbros to gimme a fucking refund for the torn shirt. amazing what a simple "im gonna complain to your HQ", can do.
everyweekend i got no mom and no dad.
means no money too. if anyone wanst to drop by please call and do so.
u get perks like free lunch and free interent access........i love my sis tho, the awolling bitch who loves me....but loves the boyfriend more.
thats why she's da bitch.
and to despondance and helplessness,
i hate to spell out what im thinking. just like i cant figure out what the hell you're thinking too.
im not THAT great to you, only to myself. u got 1600 for Sat man. thats the punchline.
sometimes i wish we werent so smart.
im sure simplicity has its plus points.
eat drink sleep fuck eat drink sleep fuck till you kick the bucket.
next generation repeat step one.
im really fine now.
dunno how to drill into you. INSignificant is me.
insecure is non existent and insipid describes me.
warning to all girls in the world.
im telling you honestly im a bad person.
wont bring anything but temporary happiness and eternal pain.
i will never admit this verbally, but if i ever talk to you or sms you. just ignore me for your own safety.
its the damn truth so quick.
save yourselves.
still lousy but not that bad now..
laugh at me. but this means something to me at this point in time. snigger, but i'll get the last laugh. just let me get my heart of tarresque first ok?
bought jh's discman from lucky plaza today, funny how things work out today.
marche dinner and just watching people go by in town. went with greg to beach rd to sew on his 2nd sgt rank which was pretty cool. roof's on fire he says.
met mr stuart little.=]
i love my friends. its great to reminisce, then realize the times we live in now are to be cherished, not whined about cos it really aint that bad.
come on...we deduced that jc was fun!. but whilst we were there i bet we'd say otherwise.
i love my guitar too. i shall not let it turn to driftwood tho.
me and greg. and how far back we stretch. even the girls will see it as a daunting effort, getting between us. to think we can say decade already.
my com's a mess...cant find the driver to install my ABIT NF7 series motherboard. so if anyone's got the cd please! lend me k?....then can install my sound card and graphics card too!
i wrote my first meaningful poem few days ago. i must say i thought it was nice.. too bad it wasnt appreciated. and its lost in space now. i love limericks and alliterations...is it a fad? but i just kept hearing em today...
im quite a mean person if i wanna be i learn.
thats good so good lucks to people who try to fuck me up.
i ried to swindle the beach rd auntie, the lucky plaza discman seller, and got proj bloodbros to gimme a fucking refund for the torn shirt. amazing what a simple "im gonna complain to your HQ", can do.
everyweekend i got no mom and no dad.
means no money too. if anyone wanst to drop by please call and do so.
u get perks like free lunch and free interent access........i love my sis tho, the awolling bitch who loves me....but loves the boyfriend more.
thats why she's da bitch.
and to despondance and helplessness,
i hate to spell out what im thinking. just like i cant figure out what the hell you're thinking too.
im not THAT great to you, only to myself. u got 1600 for Sat man. thats the punchline.
sometimes i wish we werent so smart.
im sure simplicity has its plus points.
eat drink sleep fuck eat drink sleep fuck till you kick the bucket.
next generation repeat step one.
im really fine now.
dunno how to drill into you. INSignificant is me.
insecure is non existent and insipid describes me.
warning to all girls in the world.
im telling you honestly im a bad person.
wont bring anything but temporary happiness and eternal pain.
i will never admit this verbally, but if i ever talk to you or sms you. just ignore me for your own safety.
its the damn truth so quick.
save yourselves.
best pals
thanks nelly for everything.
mark you're back! hope we're meeting up tmr..
thanks guys for dota!
btw, kris, wheres the email?!
mark you're back! hope we're meeting up tmr..
thanks guys for dota!
btw, kris, wheres the email?!
Monday, November 22, 2004
the ghost of you and me
it's amazing how i can keep up an imaginary conversation with her for such a long time now. i just sit there and think and think and different scenarios just play out in front of me. sometimes some images are temptingly real, even if i just close my eyes for a second. it breaks my heart and i wish so hard for time to move backwards. i can almost smell her hair and hear her laughter. but all that is gone now, and nothing will ever be the same. but then was it ever there in the first place?
it's kinda psychotic now, come to think of it. but when you miss someone so much, can you really blame me for this hallucination? i'm almost to the point where i say hello to her when i wake up, or touch her photo as though i would touch her face before going to sleep. i spend my time talking to her, picturing what she would answer. i remember the way her head tilts to the side or the way the wind catches her hair. The way the little laugh lines appear at the corners of her smile, or her gentle breath on my neck. tiniest things spark off the deepest of memories. and i had to ask her again, what did i do to have lost you?
she smiled and told me that maybe we weren't meant for each other.
no...wait,
she smiled and told me we were different.
or maybe...
she smiled and told me she had to fly off to somewhere else...
... or did she?
all i'm surviving on is the hope that she will release me from this spell soon, and that someone else will take her place. but for now i will continue to relive the moments - those wondrous and magical moments, over and over again. the days where i picked her up from work, the day where she lay on my lap as i watched her fall asleep under the stars in marina, and the day where we lay in bed the whole night and day, talking, laughing and falling in love.
time's always cruel, and the happiest of moments are gone in a whirlwind.
it's kinda psychotic now, come to think of it. but when you miss someone so much, can you really blame me for this hallucination? i'm almost to the point where i say hello to her when i wake up, or touch her photo as though i would touch her face before going to sleep. i spend my time talking to her, picturing what she would answer. i remember the way her head tilts to the side or the way the wind catches her hair. The way the little laugh lines appear at the corners of her smile, or her gentle breath on my neck. tiniest things spark off the deepest of memories. and i had to ask her again, what did i do to have lost you?
she smiled and told me that maybe we weren't meant for each other.
no...wait,
she smiled and told me we were different.
or maybe...
she smiled and told me she had to fly off to somewhere else...
... or did she?
all i'm surviving on is the hope that she will release me from this spell soon, and that someone else will take her place. but for now i will continue to relive the moments - those wondrous and magical moments, over and over again. the days where i picked her up from work, the day where she lay on my lap as i watched her fall asleep under the stars in marina, and the day where we lay in bed the whole night and day, talking, laughing and falling in love.
time's always cruel, and the happiest of moments are gone in a whirlwind.
Sunday, November 21, 2004
i second that
dota is damn addictive.. ah well..
anyways, went to ang mo kio med church with nelson today, was a totally different experience.. afterwards we went to ang mo kio library cos nel needs to research on some east timor stuff.. and i picked up this big pictorial - SINATRA. sat down there for 2 entire hours reading and LIVING through the amazing life of "the boy from hoboken". great read, nice pics, i think i'm sinatra reincarnate. heh.
went to orchard library to meet cai and i borrowed these 2 books. "how to start a franchise" and "franchising and investing". must start somewhere right? guess this is my start.
in lanshop now with shaun beside me, so glad hes here! haven't seen him for a week and i miss him so much! =o) bought some stuff from giant to last me my outfield, 6 nata de cocos, 2 cans of hot dogs and some batteries to eat, er i mean for my torchlight.
another time!
everyone turns to look at the door, as ol' blue eyes struts in. no one utters a word as he picks up the microphone and starts : and now, the end is near... the room erupts in applause. magic.
anyways, went to ang mo kio med church with nelson today, was a totally different experience.. afterwards we went to ang mo kio library cos nel needs to research on some east timor stuff.. and i picked up this big pictorial - SINATRA. sat down there for 2 entire hours reading and LIVING through the amazing life of "the boy from hoboken". great read, nice pics, i think i'm sinatra reincarnate. heh.
went to orchard library to meet cai and i borrowed these 2 books. "how to start a franchise" and "franchising and investing". must start somewhere right? guess this is my start.
in lanshop now with shaun beside me, so glad hes here! haven't seen him for a week and i miss him so much! =o) bought some stuff from giant to last me my outfield, 6 nata de cocos, 2 cans of hot dogs and some batteries to eat, er i mean for my torchlight.
another time!
everyone turns to look at the door, as ol' blue eyes struts in. no one utters a word as he picks up the microphone and starts : and now, the end is near... the room erupts in applause. magic.
DOTA ALLSTARS
playing this game is more dangerous than clubbing man.
i shall not play anymore.
i will get my life back on track.
sigh..im addicted to a game i suck at.
amazing.
this month is spending month man.
im using my computer
it has no graphics card no sound no nothing
only internet.
buy new hard drive also got so many problem. wth.
i wanna learn sth new.
add spice to my life.
not in a bgr or thrills way.
but in a improvement way..
im sorry im not helping the situation
i dunno how to.
being frank never helped.
being "correct" never came across as sincere.
whats going on. you tell me.
the truth is the truth.
facing it is the hard part.
i just wanna know.
didnt know being friends could be so hard.
AMAZING.
oh well, nothings really too bad here really.
just need to iron out my life.
i'll live another day.
toodles
i shall not play anymore.
i will get my life back on track.
sigh..im addicted to a game i suck at.
amazing.
this month is spending month man.
im using my computer
it has no graphics card no sound no nothing
only internet.
buy new hard drive also got so many problem. wth.
i wanna learn sth new.
add spice to my life.
not in a bgr or thrills way.
but in a improvement way..
im sorry im not helping the situation
i dunno how to.
being frank never helped.
being "correct" never came across as sincere.
whats going on. you tell me.
the truth is the truth.
facing it is the hard part.
i just wanna know.
didnt know being friends could be so hard.
AMAZING.
oh well, nothings really too bad here really.
just need to iron out my life.
i'll live another day.
toodles
Saturday, November 20, 2004
hello hello
guys so sorry i'm just so off these days.
no zouk for me, no zoukout for me, no rasa sentosa.
just dota would suffice. i mean, its time i stopped doing all these clubbing nonsense. high time.
btw, happy birthday calvin !
cai you know what? i think you should stop being a bastard and just go. =o) believe me, its true. its true.
no zouk for me, no zoukout for me, no rasa sentosa.
just dota would suffice. i mean, its time i stopped doing all these clubbing nonsense. high time.
btw, happy birthday calvin !
cai you know what? i think you should stop being a bastard and just go. =o) believe me, its true. its true.
Thursday, November 18, 2004
bloody pooter.
dear god.
its weiguo here. im hot. im bored. i need my friends.
please shine on me.
to those having exams, make it quick.
to those overseas, make it quick.
to those in camp, make it quick.
its weiguo here. im hot. im bored. i need my friends.
please shine on me.
to those having exams, make it quick.
to those overseas, make it quick.
to those in camp, make it quick.
Monday, November 15, 2004
nothing much
i'm in a dilemma. i can't really remember what i wanna post, but i really wanna post, so i'll just post anyway. hopefully along the way, i'll pick up what i can't remember.
these 5 days have been great really. feels like i've ORDed already. haha. it's so carefree. no worrying about anything related to army at all. awesome. on top of that, i had a preview to life in SMU. and i'm already looking forward to it. although my parents will wanna say something about that. they're pushing me to go to the States, as usual but it's just so troublesome. what essays, what testimonials, what's not what everything. it's like just an ultimate turn-off. if the applications are as easy and simple as ABC, trust me, i'll be halfway there already. honestly, it's gonna be a heck of an experience abroad i know it! but i'm just that laid back. maybe my parents are right. i am the bane of my own future. oh well. we'll see.
i'm just watching the 'top model' show on tv now, and it's like, the italian guys are so smooth. like they're like naturals in picking up pple. haha maybe i can learn something from them eh? yeah. i need lessons.
anyway this break have been well spent i guess. finally bought my computer. went to sentosa and was lucky enough to be caught in the sunny part of the day! and acquire 3 albums: U2:best of 1980-1990, songs about jane and some japanese girl doing bossanova. i'm just pretty upset that my shoe was sold out. tsk. this shoe i had my eyes on for awhile in 'substance' at the wheelock. 169. it was like, orangy brownish with the ziggy-zag velcro fastener thing. i would've bought it. sigh. yeah.
anyway, i feel quite proud of myself that i haven't gone near a club for 3 weeks. it's just that clubbing's losing it for me. just like mambo jambo lost it for me last time. i hate phuture wednesdays. the feeling of squeezing is just so irritating. as irritating as people who force their way into the trains while u're trying to get off. as irritating as people who block the whole escalator by standing in the middle. yeah. makes me feel like wanting to tell them to foff. but i shall not since it's not my style. oh well, hrm guess the next time i'll be partying is at zouk out, at least if i feel like i'm being sardinised i can chill out at one corner of the beach. anyway i'll be hanging at the RnB side. find me there k? or u can find me in rasa sentosa for the after party. my after party? ;)
alright, i'm out. till next time. ian.
these 5 days have been great really. feels like i've ORDed already. haha. it's so carefree. no worrying about anything related to army at all. awesome. on top of that, i had a preview to life in SMU. and i'm already looking forward to it. although my parents will wanna say something about that. they're pushing me to go to the States, as usual but it's just so troublesome. what essays, what testimonials, what's not what everything. it's like just an ultimate turn-off. if the applications are as easy and simple as ABC, trust me, i'll be halfway there already. honestly, it's gonna be a heck of an experience abroad i know it! but i'm just that laid back. maybe my parents are right. i am the bane of my own future. oh well. we'll see.
i'm just watching the 'top model' show on tv now, and it's like, the italian guys are so smooth. like they're like naturals in picking up pple. haha maybe i can learn something from them eh? yeah. i need lessons.
anyway this break have been well spent i guess. finally bought my computer. went to sentosa and was lucky enough to be caught in the sunny part of the day! and acquire 3 albums: U2:best of 1980-1990, songs about jane and some japanese girl doing bossanova. i'm just pretty upset that my shoe was sold out. tsk. this shoe i had my eyes on for awhile in 'substance' at the wheelock. 169. it was like, orangy brownish with the ziggy-zag velcro fastener thing. i would've bought it. sigh. yeah.
anyway, i feel quite proud of myself that i haven't gone near a club for 3 weeks. it's just that clubbing's losing it for me. just like mambo jambo lost it for me last time. i hate phuture wednesdays. the feeling of squeezing is just so irritating. as irritating as people who force their way into the trains while u're trying to get off. as irritating as people who block the whole escalator by standing in the middle. yeah. makes me feel like wanting to tell them to foff. but i shall not since it's not my style. oh well, hrm guess the next time i'll be partying is at zouk out, at least if i feel like i'm being sardinised i can chill out at one corner of the beach. anyway i'll be hanging at the RnB side. find me there k? or u can find me in rasa sentosa for the after party. my after party? ;)
alright, i'm out. till next time. ian.
grand plans.
okay guys, greg ian shaun jianny lau cai.
no obligations.
gift cost between 40-60.
pref above 50.
we'll pick from a hat during christmas period when we meet.
hows that?. cai greg ian and jh on already.
pee can buy ffxi as his gift if got discount.
lau can reply when he's back from mounting.
claire sorry u cant cos im buying boxers.
and jianny's buying guys shoes from aldo.
ahahha...
zoukout. rasa sentosa settled.
we need to get tics.
come dec we go.
no obligations.
gift cost between 40-60.
pref above 50.
we'll pick from a hat during christmas period when we meet.
hows that?. cai greg ian and jh on already.
pee can buy ffxi as his gift if got discount.
lau can reply when he's back from mounting.
claire sorry u cant cos im buying boxers.
and jianny's buying guys shoes from aldo.
ahahha...
zoukout. rasa sentosa settled.
we need to get tics.
come dec we go.
Sunday, November 14, 2004
saturday.
today was fun..
went to smu for the nsmen jamboree thing and it was quite informative. really hope i'll end up in smu next year.. sigh. double degree in business and economics. golf. wakeboarding. enticing. very.
anyways, afterwhich gay partners ian and me went to millenia walk to search for that elusive jitterbugs. walked up and down, right and left, inside out until we know every nook and cranny of harvey norman, and we STILL could not find the escalator that leads to the 3rd level millenia walk! bet you guys didn't know theres a third level in millenia walk right....i don't blame you. even the security guard doesn't. anyways, we managed to keep walking up and passing thru corriders and corriders.. we reached jitterbugs at last. but it was closed. 7pm closing on weekends. argh. no matter. at least we got there..
spent an entire night and an entire 8 bucks dotA-ing again. FUN! i'm really beginning to enjoy dota now.. heh. poor shaun the DOO, couldn't join us. condolences.
its sentosa day tmr! cai me ian + greg and shaun hopefully. doesn't matter. if you bastards can't make it, me the caipo and sandking can do without u both. i'm bringing the mat.. cai drinks.. ian.. babes? yes please!! no la, don't need babes. babes are trouble.
went to smu for the nsmen jamboree thing and it was quite informative. really hope i'll end up in smu next year.. sigh. double degree in business and economics. golf. wakeboarding. enticing. very.
anyways, afterwhich gay partners ian and me went to millenia walk to search for that elusive jitterbugs. walked up and down, right and left, inside out until we know every nook and cranny of harvey norman, and we STILL could not find the escalator that leads to the 3rd level millenia walk! bet you guys didn't know theres a third level in millenia walk right....i don't blame you. even the security guard doesn't. anyways, we managed to keep walking up and passing thru corriders and corriders.. we reached jitterbugs at last. but it was closed. 7pm closing on weekends. argh. no matter. at least we got there..
spent an entire night and an entire 8 bucks dotA-ing again. FUN! i'm really beginning to enjoy dota now.. heh. poor shaun the DOO, couldn't join us. condolences.
its sentosa day tmr! cai me ian + greg and shaun hopefully. doesn't matter. if you bastards can't make it, me the caipo and sandking can do without u both. i'm bringing the mat.. cai drinks.. ian.. babes? yes please!! no la, don't need babes. babes are trouble.
Saturday, November 13, 2004
alittle advice...
"peepeedog the pond scum - Duty Orderly Officer says:
it's not about fixing, rather it's about compatibility"
that sentence was a reply to cai on how come my warcraft doesn't work on my com. And he pointed out that that was rather good BGR relationship advice. Sharp isn't he? Alright everyone copy this down, one more rejection-cum-break-up line always helps.
its been awhile eh?
hallo..
before i begin my post after such a long hiatus, i need to bitch.
FUCKING CHEEBYE PUBLIC TRANSPORT.
i hate buses, cabs and trains.
i fucking hate public transport.
all buses will kenna punctured tyres, all trains will derail into LTA building and all cab drivers will die of SARS tmr.
okay.
jianny - i love you... not clemm
greg - yyou're still the best k...thanks for letting me unload on you.[i like the sound of that]
ian - dont get so easily pissed over a game, tho i still love you.
shaun - where's shaun?. come back from australia!?
lau - u da man. everybody loves lau. and my FUCKING project blood bros shirt got lobang.
claire - relax k?. now i need to do that too. the caipo's slipping off the slippery chee kueh
nicole - now i know who you.=]
who else visits the blog.?
remember all, [whisperintoyourears] public transport sucks. shhh.
before i begin my post after such a long hiatus, i need to bitch.
FUCKING CHEEBYE PUBLIC TRANSPORT.
i hate buses, cabs and trains.
i fucking hate public transport.
all buses will kenna punctured tyres, all trains will derail into LTA building and all cab drivers will die of SARS tmr.
okay.
jianny - i love you... not clemm
greg - yyou're still the best k...thanks for letting me unload on you.[i like the sound of that]
ian - dont get so easily pissed over a game, tho i still love you.
shaun - where's shaun?. come back from australia!?
lau - u da man. everybody loves lau. and my FUCKING project blood bros shirt got lobang.
claire - relax k?. now i need to do that too. the caipo's slipping off the slippery chee kueh
nicole - now i know who you.=]
who else visits the blog.?
remember all, [whisperintoyourears] public transport sucks. shhh.
Friday, November 12, 2004
freak
i have this dreadful habit nowadays.
i get such a kick from throwing things. old mags old books old clothes, i just spent 2 days, 2 whole days clearing ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the junk from my room. sheesh i found back a lot of stuff i deemed lost, and i read through lotsa old letters and cards and testimonials! remember those books where we passed around the class last time? and everyone would write their biodata and a short message, footnote whatever.. and perhaps some photos or NEOPRINTS!
fun.
anyways its just in preparation for moving house. i really wanna move. hate my present place. bad memories to the core and i wish to get out. dammit. really get out. sheesh my parents are so indecisive. first waterina, then waterplace, then now astoria park? i like waterplace the best, but its gonna strain a bit financially so i guess astoria would be better.. and its nearer to ian, and shaun too.
this is a hate mail.
i hate 2004. really, can't wait for this bloody year to end.
anyways, its me at the lanshop again.. again?! i've been here everynight. religiously. gosh i could be a major shareholder. DOTA is the game, drow ranger is the hero, and buriza do kynon is the weapon.
i get such a kick from throwing things. old mags old books old clothes, i just spent 2 days, 2 whole days clearing ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the junk from my room. sheesh i found back a lot of stuff i deemed lost, and i read through lotsa old letters and cards and testimonials! remember those books where we passed around the class last time? and everyone would write their biodata and a short message, footnote whatever.. and perhaps some photos or NEOPRINTS!
fun.
anyways its just in preparation for moving house. i really wanna move. hate my present place. bad memories to the core and i wish to get out. dammit. really get out. sheesh my parents are so indecisive. first waterina, then waterplace, then now astoria park? i like waterplace the best, but its gonna strain a bit financially so i guess astoria would be better.. and its nearer to ian, and shaun too.
this is a hate mail.
i hate 2004. really, can't wait for this bloody year to end.
anyways, its me at the lanshop again.. again?! i've been here everynight. religiously. gosh i could be a major shareholder. DOTA is the game, drow ranger is the hero, and buriza do kynon is the weapon.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
busy with ian.
fun. me ian shaun are at ian's place making up his comp after a hard day's shopping at simlim. i think shaun knows what hes doing but i don't so i think i should just keep my hands to the keyboard...
tribute to my friends.
mark: sigh i wish you were back, you're my stabliser.
cai: outfield sucks i know, have stuff to tell you. if you see this before i talk to you, call me..
ian and shaun: [TEG] the east gang. unfailing, stauchly loyal. can't have better than them.
julia: toddler-chewing-monstrous-creature. wish i could marry you but you'll eat the kids so i don't think so...
claire: when you told me you wanted to come back immediately, i was like 'crazy girl'.. you're the best!
tango-babe: hey ! surprised i added you here? haha tango's something to look forward to, so why not?! anyways, you wanna get membership ? it'll be 50 bucks cheaper for the course, i checked.
the loneliness of paris, seems somehow sadly gay. the glory that was rome, is of another day. i've been terribly alone, and forgotten in manhattan. i'm going home, to my city by the bay..
tribute to my friends.
mark: sigh i wish you were back, you're my stabliser.
cai: outfield sucks i know, have stuff to tell you. if you see this before i talk to you, call me..
ian and shaun: [TEG] the east gang. unfailing, stauchly loyal. can't have better than them.
julia: toddler-chewing-monstrous-creature. wish i could marry you but you'll eat the kids so i don't think so...
claire: when you told me you wanted to come back immediately, i was like 'crazy girl'.. you're the best!
tango-babe: hey ! surprised i added you here? haha tango's something to look forward to, so why not?! anyways, you wanna get membership ? it'll be 50 bucks cheaper for the course, i checked.
the loneliness of paris, seems somehow sadly gay. the glory that was rome, is of another day. i've been terribly alone, and forgotten in manhattan. i'm going home, to my city by the bay..
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change,
courage to change the things i can.
and wisdom to know the difference.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
things are looking up.
thank you guys.
anyways. its been a really long time since i posted. where have i been ?
hmm its been a long time since i enlisted. (wth am i talking about?) 21 jan 2003. bmt. mark seow. sad life. 8.57 for soc. 9.45 for 2.4. 10 nov 2004. 3 more months to clear leave. its been a long time, indeed.
12 dec 2004. start of tango lessons. a kind soul has agreed to learn tango with me! haha at jitterbugs. no more gay inclinations with lau for salsa. no more! can't wait for that to start really..
cherish the everyday.
anyways. its been a really long time since i posted. where have i been ?
hmm its been a long time since i enlisted. (wth am i talking about?) 21 jan 2003. bmt. mark seow. sad life. 8.57 for soc. 9.45 for 2.4. 10 nov 2004. 3 more months to clear leave. its been a long time, indeed.
12 dec 2004. start of tango lessons. a kind soul has agreed to learn tango with me! haha at jitterbugs. no more gay inclinations with lau for salsa. no more! can't wait for that to start really..
cherish the everyday.
Monday, November 08, 2004
moomoo
hellooo, it's me again. posting live from home.
anyway, today i had a short shop/chill out/movie day with the guys. the brady bunch as a friend calls us. hurhur. bought a funky pair o white flipflops from projectshop. it was like at first sight. 15 bucks! what a steal! mmm, hope it doesn't turn out to be another scratching post for the cats, like my other flipflops (4 and counting). sigh. all those poor flipflops.
aft that, we caught sky capt. finally. it wasn't so bad. sure the jokes were corny and the show was unrealistic but we enjoyed it. and ms. paltrow sure was one sexaye mama. i'm starting to think that gwyneth-types are the kind that melts my heart. aww. she has the looks that seem to grow on you. like the type u'd never get bored looking at every single day. yeah. some guys love big boobs, some guys love big asses, some guys love legs. i have ms. paltrow.... and maggie (Q and cheong). something about these ladies that tickles my heart. gotta find out.
righty, time for me to hit the sack coz tomorrow i gotta go back. till the next time. ciaooo.
anyway, today i had a short shop/chill out/movie day with the guys. the brady bunch as a friend calls us. hurhur. bought a funky pair o white flipflops from projectshop. it was like at first sight. 15 bucks! what a steal! mmm, hope it doesn't turn out to be another scratching post for the cats, like my other flipflops (4 and counting). sigh. all those poor flipflops.
aft that, we caught sky capt. finally. it wasn't so bad. sure the jokes were corny and the show was unrealistic but we enjoyed it. and ms. paltrow sure was one sexaye mama. i'm starting to think that gwyneth-types are the kind that melts my heart. aww. she has the looks that seem to grow on you. like the type u'd never get bored looking at every single day. yeah. some guys love big boobs, some guys love big asses, some guys love legs. i have ms. paltrow.... and maggie (Q and cheong). something about these ladies that tickles my heart. gotta find out.
righty, time for me to hit the sack coz tomorrow i gotta go back. till the next time. ciaooo.
Sunday, November 07, 2004
mmmm
something's wrong today. i can't quite figure what. maybe i'm just tired.
stepped out feeling pretty upbeat about another night with the guys. cai greg jh. went again for lan. getting pretty predictable my weekend nights. heh. got there, managed to squeeze to the seat beside greg. wholehearted clicking began. click click click. click click click. mmmm, click click click. the game started to move really slowly. as in like boring. just didn't feel like playing anymore. for the record, the game lasted an hour(sloooooow). to make things worse, enter Le Strangers. well, don't know if jh knows them or what but i don't. being my regular anti-social self, the presence of Le Strangers was, at best, disturbing. but hey, by popular demand, voila, i found my lil critter hacking and slashing at Gp_x & co(Le Strangers). not that i disliked them, i was just, anti-social. i was more than glad when 'Mr. Body Beautiful'(the lan shop assistant was a contestant in some pageant or what shit.) told us he was closing the place in 5 min. i thought the wrongs were finally righted! but hey, i reached home to find something amiss. my cap's in the shop. i'm like, WTF! now i gotta go get it back. oh sigh. maybe i'm just bored of games. maybe i just wanna chill, in town or what. maybe coz shaun's not there with his crap. mmm, maybe i'm just tired. alright, i shall end my misery now then. goodbye, cruel world! hello, mmm comfy bed...
PS: eugene, i really didn't mind watching a movie, but it's difficult when it's just u and me. sorry dude. we'll meet up later in the afternoon, k? gimme, jh, shaun or cai a call. i wanna hang in town.
and liverpool had to lose at home to, of all teams, birmingham. like WTF! x2.
stepped out feeling pretty upbeat about another night with the guys. cai greg jh. went again for lan. getting pretty predictable my weekend nights. heh. got there, managed to squeeze to the seat beside greg. wholehearted clicking began. click click click. click click click. mmmm, click click click. the game started to move really slowly. as in like boring. just didn't feel like playing anymore. for the record, the game lasted an hour(sloooooow). to make things worse, enter Le Strangers. well, don't know if jh knows them or what but i don't. being my regular anti-social self, the presence of Le Strangers was, at best, disturbing. but hey, by popular demand, voila, i found my lil critter hacking and slashing at Gp_x & co(Le Strangers). not that i disliked them, i was just, anti-social. i was more than glad when 'Mr. Body Beautiful'(the lan shop assistant was a contestant in some pageant or what shit.) told us he was closing the place in 5 min. i thought the wrongs were finally righted! but hey, i reached home to find something amiss. my cap's in the shop. i'm like, WTF! now i gotta go get it back. oh sigh. maybe i'm just bored of games. maybe i just wanna chill, in town or what. maybe coz shaun's not there with his crap. mmm, maybe i'm just tired. alright, i shall end my misery now then. goodbye, cruel world! hello, mmm comfy bed...
PS: eugene, i really didn't mind watching a movie, but it's difficult when it's just u and me. sorry dude. we'll meet up later in the afternoon, k? gimme, jh, shaun or cai a call. i wanna hang in town.
and liverpool had to lose at home to, of all teams, birmingham. like WTF! x2.
Saturday, November 06, 2004
freedom
another week out of camp. wooweeee. finally and i only have one day out. how short. but i do have 6 days of break next week! wed night ---> tuesday afternoon! oooh yeah. anyone free then?
mmm, i don't care that it costs a thousand bucks. i don't care that it's fat. i don't care that it's only 1.3 megapixels! it's been bought and i like it. and so all u pple can just stop telling me that it's overpriced. ;)
alright, just a short entry. havta go meet the gang now. later!
mmm, i don't care that it costs a thousand bucks. i don't care that it's fat. i don't care that it's only 1.3 megapixels! it's been bought and i like it. and so all u pple can just stop telling me that it's overpriced. ;)
alright, just a short entry. havta go meet the gang now. later!
Monday, November 01, 2004
incoherent, semi-intelligent ramblings
october's passing brings back sweet november. what's so sweet about november you say? means december's coming. xmas. 2005. ORD. SMU. 21. yadayada.
parents' been bugging about whether i'm applying for US studies. mmm, i don't really think so. but truth is, i really wanna go! well, i would if u move everything i have here, to there. it's just like you're in your comfort zone here on the red dot. but u don't wanna be confined to this red dot. u wanna go out and see the world but you're afraid to lose this comfort zone and everything u have in it. you're afraid to have to start anew. you're afraid u can't adapt and will have to come crawling back to this red dot, only to find that there's nothing here left for u. and there's nothing there either. and u have NOTHING. but of coz, it's not so drastic. it'll not be.
i believe it won't be. u'll never have nothing. when you're at your lowest, don't look down in despair. look up, look around. u'll see your family, your friends. look forward. u'll see your future. along the way, they will be with u, helping u to stand up, to walk and to complete the path before u. we must not give up. for hope springs endless possibilities and faith brings the resolve to realise them.
mmm, confused yet? that's ian's chain of thought for u. for now, for me, it's just november. sweet sweet november.
parents' been bugging about whether i'm applying for US studies. mmm, i don't really think so. but truth is, i really wanna go! well, i would if u move everything i have here, to there. it's just like you're in your comfort zone here on the red dot. but u don't wanna be confined to this red dot. u wanna go out and see the world but you're afraid to lose this comfort zone and everything u have in it. you're afraid to have to start anew. you're afraid u can't adapt and will have to come crawling back to this red dot, only to find that there's nothing here left for u. and there's nothing there either. and u have NOTHING. but of coz, it's not so drastic. it'll not be.
i believe it won't be. u'll never have nothing. when you're at your lowest, don't look down in despair. look up, look around. u'll see your family, your friends. look forward. u'll see your future. along the way, they will be with u, helping u to stand up, to walk and to complete the path before u. we must not give up. for hope springs endless possibilities and faith brings the resolve to realise them.
mmm, confused yet? that's ian's chain of thought for u. for now, for me, it's just november. sweet sweet november.
Sunday, October 31, 2004
weekend. week's end.
end of the week on sunday. time this weekend was well spent with the guys. eugene, greg, cai and jianhong. mmm, someone's missing. i wonder who.
saturday kicked off with eugene and cai. shark's tale, McD's, FCUK, S700i and pool. eugene, next time i think we should keep our mouths shut. shark's tale wasn't as bad as i thought, in fact it was good! jessica shrimpson. like wtf. though i would've preferred to watch sky capt. gotta watch it soon.
and the week's ended yet again with mouse-clicks. click-cliques with jh, greg and cai. mmm.
i wonder how's next week's gonna change.
sometimes u have so many things on your mind, but u just can't express it. haven't u had that feeling? mmm. and i wonder...
saturday kicked off with eugene and cai. shark's tale, McD's, FCUK, S700i and pool. eugene, next time i think we should keep our mouths shut. shark's tale wasn't as bad as i thought, in fact it was good! jessica shrimpson. like wtf. though i would've preferred to watch sky capt. gotta watch it soon.
and the week's ended yet again with mouse-clicks. click-cliques with jh, greg and cai. mmm.
i wonder how's next week's gonna change.
sometimes u have so many things on your mind, but u just can't express it. haven't u had that feeling? mmm. and i wonder...
Friday, October 29, 2004
revived to be dead
hey. how's everyone. blog's rather abandoned now. nothing much, just doing my once a month post. pple who are stay-ins just don't have the colourful lives of those who are stay-outs.
friday night. i'm staying home. no one's doing pretty much. eugene's at flava with friends. none of my other jing-gang going, so i'll avoid. supposed to hang out with greg/cai but they're tired/busy. wtf. oh well. finally out after 2 weeks in camp and i'm staying home. woo-weee.
adios. i'm off. till another day when i have nice things to add.
friday night. i'm staying home. no one's doing pretty much. eugene's at flava with friends. none of my other jing-gang going, so i'll avoid. supposed to hang out with greg/cai but they're tired/busy. wtf. oh well. finally out after 2 weeks in camp and i'm staying home. woo-weee.
adios. i'm off. till another day when i have nice things to add.
Sunday, October 24, 2004
"The Humpty Dumpty Love Song"
all of the king's horses
and all of the king's men
couldn't pull my heart back together again
all of the physicians and mathematicians too
failed to stop my heart from breaking in two.
'cause all i need is you.
i just need you.
yeah you got the glue.
so i'm gonna give my heart to you.
i had a premonition,
a movie in my hand
confirming my suspicions of what i would find
it followed me to L.A.
down to mexico
came in through the back door at the start of the show.
still all i need you.
i just need you.
yeah you got the glue.
so i'm gonna give my heart to you.
oh was a perfect day,
oh in a perfect way,
you know, something had go,
you left me high,
you left me low.
now as i lie in pieces,
and wait for your return,
the sun upon my forehead
it burns baby burns baby burns
an eye on all my horses
you've slept with all my men
i'm never gonna get it together again
still all i need is you.
i just need you.
yeah you got the glue.
so i'm gonna give my heart to you.
yeah you got the glue
and there's nothing i can do.
yeah you got the glue.
so i'm gonna give my heart to you.
and all of the king's men
couldn't pull my heart back together again
all of the physicians and mathematicians too
failed to stop my heart from breaking in two.
'cause all i need is you.
i just need you.
yeah you got the glue.
so i'm gonna give my heart to you.
i had a premonition,
a movie in my hand
confirming my suspicions of what i would find
it followed me to L.A.
down to mexico
came in through the back door at the start of the show.
still all i need you.
i just need you.
yeah you got the glue.
so i'm gonna give my heart to you.
oh was a perfect day,
oh in a perfect way,
you know, something had go,
you left me high,
you left me low.
now as i lie in pieces,
and wait for your return,
the sun upon my forehead
it burns baby burns baby burns
an eye on all my horses
you've slept with all my men
i'm never gonna get it together again
still all i need is you.
i just need you.
yeah you got the glue.
so i'm gonna give my heart to you.
yeah you got the glue
and there's nothing i can do.
yeah you got the glue.
so i'm gonna give my heart to you.
great sunday.
oh i woke up this morning kinda late. rushed out of the house to keppel to play golf with clement the lil bitch, calvin yeohda and darrencheng@forpresident.com. great fun! the lil bitch wanted to learn but he ended up prancing about and hit less than 10 balls. i'm enjoying it much more but i'm still in the process of grappling with my swing...........
anyways, it started raining and we didn't have transport out!! so we started walking out, and trying to hitchhike beside the road. darren started scolding and shouting at every car that went by.. er. we were trying to hide ourselves in the bushes.. it started to rain! we started walking fast but it got heavier and darren picked up this branch off a banana tree out of desperation. so... 4 guys, squeezing under a banana tree branch, walking lep ra left right lep ra. not much of a shelter i guess, my socks were wet, my shoes too sigh.......
went to town and hung around, decided to buy tix for manchurian candidate.. went to birkenstock and i picked up a pair of scandals, er sandals. =o) eugene thinks the malay girl with the accent in the shop is hot. opps. *wink*
the show's good! raymond... raymond shaw... RAYMOND PRISTESS SHAW. "yes mom, do whatever you want to me" i don't think anyone who didn't watch the show would know what i'm talking about but.. heck.
and here i am back home. raring to go for later, 11pm. MANCHESTER UNITED VS BLOODY ARSEnil. await the good news =o)
anyways, it started raining and we didn't have transport out!! so we started walking out, and trying to hitchhike beside the road. darren started scolding and shouting at every car that went by.. er. we were trying to hide ourselves in the bushes.. it started to rain! we started walking fast but it got heavier and darren picked up this branch off a banana tree out of desperation. so... 4 guys, squeezing under a banana tree branch, walking lep ra left right lep ra. not much of a shelter i guess, my socks were wet, my shoes too sigh.......
went to town and hung around, decided to buy tix for manchurian candidate.. went to birkenstock and i picked up a pair of scandals, er sandals. =o) eugene thinks the malay girl with the accent in the shop is hot. opps. *wink*
the show's good! raymond... raymond shaw... RAYMOND PRISTESS SHAW. "yes mom, do whatever you want to me" i don't think anyone who didn't watch the show would know what i'm talking about but.. heck.
and here i am back home. raring to go for later, 11pm. MANCHESTER UNITED VS BLOODY ARSEnil. await the good news =o)
who knows?
im gonna pressure jh to put up the tagboard once again.
haha jh did his last two posts halfway through our warcraft 3 game against each other.
guess who got thrashed.....hahaha me of course the nooB.
sorry if i kenna stomachache lah k...im gonna stink up this post really bad.
and yea you and laus infatuation with older girls (supposedly SMAL) is disturbing.
i really thought this was a joke. she's far from attractive even. i'd love her, but as like how i love my mommy lah. maybe there are winds of change. sinyee, and SMAL...seems like older women are making a comeback, comeback because somewhere down the line jh already hooked himself up with one..woo...u rock man jianny. your reputation is so gone.
clubbing really isnt as fun as it were before. i resolve to club less. less, not none.
sooner or later we'll go pubbing instead, and collect our indented beer bellys.
i look forward to that..
and last but not least thanks to nikki cheong. the cheongster who reminded me via her blog that there's this thing called tea tree cream for crater faces. so far its working.
now where's my magic tube?
haha jh did his last two posts halfway through our warcraft 3 game against each other.
guess who got thrashed.....hahaha me of course the nooB.
sorry if i kenna stomachache lah k...im gonna stink up this post really bad.
and yea you and laus infatuation with older girls (supposedly SMAL) is disturbing.
i really thought this was a joke. she's far from attractive even. i'd love her, but as like how i love my mommy lah. maybe there are winds of change. sinyee, and SMAL...seems like older women are making a comeback, comeback because somewhere down the line jh already hooked himself up with one..woo...u rock man jianny. your reputation is so gone.
clubbing really isnt as fun as it were before. i resolve to club less. less, not none.
sooner or later we'll go pubbing instead, and collect our indented beer bellys.
i look forward to that..
and last but not least thanks to nikki cheong. the cheongster who reminded me via her blog that there's this thing called tea tree cream for crater faces. so far its working.
now where's my magic tube?
Saturday, October 23, 2004
nelly.
Won't you come on and go with me
Come on ova to my place
Won't you sit ya self down and take a seat
And let me ease ya mind girl
We gon do it our way
i love this song!
hey wassup!
sorry mark, couldn't chat just now, my noodles were overflowing already. call me if you can!
i'm going to amara hotel now, for the work travel USA exhibition, hope can find something i like there..
i'm soooo tired. last night's zouk was fun. lau had a hell of a time shouting and screaming like a cock in the car. wtf. so bloddy irritating.
bye!
sorry mark, couldn't chat just now, my noodles were overflowing already. call me if you can!
i'm going to amara hotel now, for the work travel USA exhibition, hope can find something i like there..
i'm soooo tired. last night's zouk was fun. lau had a hell of a time shouting and screaming like a cock in the car. wtf. so bloddy irritating.
bye!
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
English Signs Recently Found in China
1. In a Beijing hotel lobby:
"The lift is being fixed for next day.
During that time we regret that you
will be unbearable."
2. In a Shanghai hotel elevator:
"Please leave your values at the front desk."
3. In a Hangzhou hotel:
"The flattening of underwear with pleasure
is the job of the chambermaid."
4. In a Jilin hotel:
"You are very invited to take advantage of
the chambermaid."
5. In a Wuxi dry cleaner:
"Please drop your trousers here for best results."
6. Outside a Tianjin clothing shop:
"Order your summer suits quick. Because of
big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."
WTF!!!
"The lift is being fixed for next day.
During that time we regret that you
will be unbearable."
2. In a Shanghai hotel elevator:
"Please leave your values at the front desk."
3. In a Hangzhou hotel:
"The flattening of underwear with pleasure
is the job of the chambermaid."
4. In a Jilin hotel:
"You are very invited to take advantage of
the chambermaid."
5. In a Wuxi dry cleaner:
"Please drop your trousers here for best results."
6. Outside a Tianjin clothing shop:
"Order your summer suits quick. Because of
big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."
WTF!!!
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
of yupi hamburgers and patek watches
seems like our lives have been thrown into a whirl.
okay maybe just mine.
but camp life is definitely better. phases lah all this. one moment we're so nicely settled in and then next moment we're thrown awry by the unstoppable forces of change.
very interesting. very unexpectedly expected.
just as you thought things were going great. which they were. but inherantly some things gotta change right?. so i deduce we guys must learn to deal with transitions better. i admit to behaving like a baby whenever i dont get what i want. so yea i'll just be conscious of that.
anybody wanna buy me the polo ralph shirt i've got my eyes on.
oooh the elusive piece of cloth. mmmm..
today jianhong asked me to play lan.
i kindly rejected.
a sign of the times?
no death coil for me?.
more rest for me?.
oh the horror!
okay maybe just mine.
but camp life is definitely better. phases lah all this. one moment we're so nicely settled in and then next moment we're thrown awry by the unstoppable forces of change.
very interesting. very unexpectedly expected.
just as you thought things were going great. which they were. but inherantly some things gotta change right?. so i deduce we guys must learn to deal with transitions better. i admit to behaving like a baby whenever i dont get what i want. so yea i'll just be conscious of that.
anybody wanna buy me the polo ralph shirt i've got my eyes on.
oooh the elusive piece of cloth. mmmm..
today jianhong asked me to play lan.
i kindly rejected.
a sign of the times?
no death coil for me?.
more rest for me?.
oh the horror!
the bored life
i enjoyed my two days in camp very much. i don't know why, but i seem to enjoy being alone now. shit am i turning into a pond scum too ?
theres so much peace in being alone. it seems like heaven to be able to enjoy the papers quietly, taking a short nap on the chairman's chair. boring ? hardly. time seems to pass faster this way.
just received a call from SMU today, asking me who would i bring for the smu jamboree thing. anybody interested? its on the 13th nov 3-5pm.
anyways i would be at amara hotel this sat. its the roadshow of speedwing, that company that liaisons with the US companies to give jobs to hopeful fools like me in faraway USA. as hotdog sellers, theme park operators, chambermaids maybe bartenders? heh. i wish.
a leader leads with passion.
theres so much peace in being alone. it seems like heaven to be able to enjoy the papers quietly, taking a short nap on the chairman's chair. boring ? hardly. time seems to pass faster this way.
just received a call from SMU today, asking me who would i bring for the smu jamboree thing. anybody interested? its on the 13th nov 3-5pm.
anyways i would be at amara hotel this sat. its the roadshow of speedwing, that company that liaisons with the US companies to give jobs to hopeful fools like me in faraway USA. as hotdog sellers, theme park operators, chambermaids maybe bartenders? heh. i wish.
a leader leads with passion.
Sunday, October 17, 2004
SHAUN!!
SHaun don't kill me. i changed the template of the blog cos someone deleted the old html! and i don't have a copy of it. so i just chose another one.. please tell me u have the copy of the old one..
Saturday, October 16, 2004
adios
shaun's gone to australia. not taiwan.
and together the blog's also cranky already.
must be the blog misses shaun.
sorry shaun i was sick.
but i really wanted to go down and send you off.
my head's splitting. my body's screaming.
oh ya how's the flight.
and together the blog's also cranky already.
must be the blog misses shaun.
sorry shaun i was sick.
but i really wanted to go down and send you off.
my head's splitting. my body's screaming.
oh ya how's the flight.
ex wallaby
fuck man am is peepee the only one gg wallaby with me?? advance party leaves tonight at 2000 while i'll be making my way down to t2 monday night. it's damn irritating, having to wear pants and collar shirt there. plus our kit bag which includes sbo and full pack and boots had to be completely free of mud. it was a damn hassle man. gonna be there doing 3 day navex of 62 chkpts, spike live firing, matador live firing, combat equipment jump and battle inoculation course on lsv. shag balls. but after ex wallaby im gonna be in ord mood already..
lau, where's my fucking prez, you wanna wait till an entire yr pass before you give me is it, like not remind me of xiaoling when we went to meet her last time. i'll be fucking confined in camp during xmas, 2ntm frm 21-28 dec, sucks like hell i tell you.
oh one lesson i learnt frm mambo night, never go if you have a hazardous activity the next day. my fren puked on the plane and he was damn seh until he jumped out. lucky he remembered all his drills otherwise we'd have made news headlines again. lol.
till end of wallaby, ciao.
lau, where's my fucking prez, you wanna wait till an entire yr pass before you give me is it, like not remind me of xiaoling when we went to meet her last time. i'll be fucking confined in camp during xmas, 2ntm frm 21-28 dec, sucks like hell i tell you.
oh one lesson i learnt frm mambo night, never go if you have a hazardous activity the next day. my fren puked on the plane and he was damn seh until he jumped out. lucky he remembered all his drills otherwise we'd have made news headlines again. lol.
till end of wallaby, ciao.
Thursday, October 14, 2004
So, what do you do
When somebody you're devoted to
Suddenly just stops loving you
And it seems they haven't got a clue
Of the pain that rejection
Is putting you through
Do you cling to your pride
And say "I Will Survive"
Do you lash out and say"How dare you leave this way"
or Do you hold on in vain
As they just slip away
1 big...
SHAUN u are 1 big fucking idiot!! and its really dumb. nice illustrations though. u should join lucasarts.
claire i'm glad you enjoyed that entry as much as i did =o) i laughed like hell typing it too..
NIC MOK oei! i know you think its damn funny too right. and please for the last time. we are all busy people and can't blog all day so will you get your mouse away from the refresh button?! its jamming the server up. blogspot called me up to complain already. sigh. forever. *exasperated*
to the others reading. =o) its a truly great experience reading this blog. i'm guilty of pressing refresh too.
claire i'm glad you enjoyed that entry as much as i did =o) i laughed like hell typing it too..
NIC MOK oei! i know you think its damn funny too right. and please for the last time. we are all busy people and can't blog all day so will you get your mouse away from the refresh button?! its jamming the server up. blogspot called me up to complain already. sigh. forever. *exasperated*
to the others reading. =o) its a truly great experience reading this blog. i'm guilty of pressing refresh too.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
shaun the depressed pond scum
hi guys. the picture below is a illustration of my feelings about leaving my house. i hope it will give you a more in-depth description of my life. I shall explain it. I, the depressed pond scum, lives in the pond. and surrounding my nice, wet, slimy environment, is the harsh desert of kabal. You see, there's only a certain distance i can crawl out from my pond, and struggle to whichever location that's nearby. If i try to crawl further and further out into the neverending desert(of kabal), i assure you, as pond scum, i'll start to dry up and of course that isn't a very happy thought/sight. So i tend to stay near to my pond. unless of course, you have a mobile fish tank such as a car. So if i'm making any of you unhappy by always being a wet-pond-scum-blanket, i'm truly and inevitably sorry.
anyway, after a nice game of pool(which i kept losing) and lan(which i kept winning) with cai, we headed for home cause the spoiler cai had camp the next day. spoiler. i don't have camp because i'm flying off to aussie on saturday and hence clearing some off-in-lieus. jh was supposed to join us but he had all his girls to take care of so he didn't. but he called in the end and said he was meeting up with lau so -- wait this is getting super narrative. this isn't what a blog is for.
this was the way things went (info under one min):
1)00:00hrs - jh picked me at mandarin gardens.
2)00:15hrs - we picked julia at NUH
3)00:30hrs - we drove to supper near NUS
4)01:30hrs - we walked abit and jh let me and julia drive abit in west coast(area).
5)01:57hrs - we sent julia back to hall
6)02:25hrs - we picked lau at coffee club next to cali fitness
7)02:45hrs - i wasn't feeling all too well so jh drove us all home
now i think everyone's gone to ktv at partyworld. that sounds rather lian/beng. i'm being a pond scum and staying at home until someone wants to go to parkway.
anyway, after a nice game of pool(which i kept losing) and lan(which i kept winning) with cai, we headed for home cause the spoiler cai had camp the next day. spoiler. i don't have camp because i'm flying off to aussie on saturday and hence clearing some off-in-lieus. jh was supposed to join us but he had all his girls to take care of so he didn't. but he called in the end and said he was meeting up with lau so -- wait this is getting super narrative. this isn't what a blog is for.
this was the way things went (info under one min):
1)00:00hrs - jh picked me at mandarin gardens.
2)00:15hrs - we picked julia at NUH
3)00:30hrs - we drove to supper near NUS
4)01:30hrs - we walked abit and jh let me and julia drive abit in west coast(area).
5)01:57hrs - we sent julia back to hall
6)02:25hrs - we picked lau at coffee club next to cali fitness
7)02:45hrs - i wasn't feeling all too well so jh drove us all home
now i think everyone's gone to ktv at partyworld. that sounds rather lian/beng. i'm being a pond scum and staying at home until someone wants to go to parkway.
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