return fire. defence of the boys

firstly, i kinda disagree with you.

"Couple met, fall in love and then break. Girl sad, boy don't want her, girl hung up."

it takes 2 to break up. meaning it's not entirely the guy's fault that he's lost interest in her, neither is it entirely the girl's fault that she can't keep the guy's interest. relationships are basically simpler versions of marriage, starting a family etc. there is a need for relationship planning as there is a need for planning marriage, planning kids.

the feelings of the heart are more often than not, intangible and unjustifiable. there can be points in time when you feel alot for this person, and there are other times when you just can't stand being around this person. This "phenomenon" is the result of factors such as 1) the need for company 2) lust for the opp sex (yes we do all lust) 3) the activities that we are involved in (school, having fun with friends, etc) 4) perhaps more but i'm lazy to think

hence, before going into the relationship, there has to be a pre-relationship phase - akin to dating before marriage, we have to date before dating. make sense? good. Whirlwind romances mostly never last. Long distance relationships never last (1% maybe). A good advice would be to understand the person you like very thoroughly before going into a relationship.

"In dating, the story goes, boy chase girl, girl accept him and *kah boom* , you start a relationship, right?"

A relationship shouldn't be all flowery and honeymoonish. Personally, a relationship should transit from friends to "lovers" so smoothly that the date that you guys actually got together is sort of blurry. So for all those 1/2/3 months dating people, please put in more effort to hide your dark secrets because one day they'll be discovered. Also, this is why it's harder to keep the attention of the opp party.

for girls (and boys) who think that relationships that last anything from 4 mths to six mths to under a year is considered a long relationship, it serves you right that you broke up and you're all miserable. You should see relationships as something more sacred than just short termed goals. If you can't hope and strive to be with the person forever, it just means you're a player. i mean, i just can't see anyone saying "oh i hope i'll be together with her for a year. or two". and i've heard many of my friends say "oh i'll love her forever and ever".. then when they break.. "shit happens..oh well".

Brings me to the next point. There is a fine line btw love and like like like like alot. Noone can define love. but most silly immature girls love the word love. they use it freely as if they knew what it meant. please stop this. and guys, please stop using the word love to get into girls' pants.

"Yes, we not only lose out physically, we also lose out emotionally and that sucks like shite."

what makes you think that guys don't lose out physically and emotionally? girls lose out physically because what, they lose their virginity? guys have their virginity too, however gay that sounds. anyway it's all a mindset. you can't lose what you don't give. and you can never lose what you willingly give. so please DON'T BULLSHIT ME about this physical aspect of a relationship. emotionally. let's see. CYBERPARKERS, how many of you are attached? how many of you have been hurt by girls? 'nuff said.

some examples:
"damn sian leh. she haven't reply. what to do ah? msg again? wait she think i'm irritating"
"i think i'm on her ignore list on msn"
"she shut me out of her life all of a sudden"
"how can she do this to me?"

girls never do realize how much effort really goes into a girl they like. the time spent, money spent, effort spent. you may say you're not high maintenance, or just a very simple girl who wants affection, but to guys it's a different matter altogether. we go out to impress, to win you over. money, affection, effort and time all come together in a package. when a guy tells his guyfriends about a girl, his guyfriends all know he's serious. we'll give him space and even though he says he has no money to go out with us, we won't get pissed when he has money to go out with her. So if the guy spends so much of his capacity to get you, and finally wins you over, you better be sure you are what you portrayed to him during the "chase". I mean, i wouldn't pity the girl if the guy realizes the girl is actually some gossiping vulgar bitch and not the elegant classy girl he thought he was after and dumps her.

"You men always think that we are some deluded, some irrational and insecure bitches who wants perfection and attention, but we're only like that because you treat us THAT WAY."

guys are as insecure as girls. so don't go around befriending other guys and hughug kisskiss. it's ok for girlfriends to go out/hang out with other guys but it gets on our nerves sometimes. so outwardly it may seem alright to us, but the feeling'll grow. don't be close to other guys than your boyfriend. if you can go around hugging boys, we can go around hugging girls.


you stopped here, so i'll conclude.

getting into a relationship isn't all "rainbows and butterflies". Calling each other stupid won't help either, neither is stringing as many stupids as you can into a sentence. that's just being immature. there are issues of both parties that every individual needs to consider. obviously you don't understand guys very well, and i don't expect you to, because guys will never understand girls very well either. The only thing we can do is be sensitive to the opp sex, don't ask for too much and always work things out sensibly. in a relationship, transparency, honesty, passion will make a couple go far. In a relationship, it's most impt to give and take, and in anger, always SHUT UP. you will always say the wrong things in the heat of anger.

final note, girls please think carefully before going into a relationship. don't go in then come out complaining. most of you do. it's true that some guys are players, but i know for a fact that a hell lot of girls are players too. be prudent when choosing your partner.

"guys suck and girl's are suckers"

"men give love for sex, and women give sex for love"