metas' betas'

School Teacher Arrested
New terrorist cell exposed

Texas -- A public school teacher was arrested today at Bergstrom International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said "I believe the man is a member of the notorious new group called "Al-gebra" (pronounced, Al-gee-bra). The Secretary did not identify the man, who has been charged with carrying "weapons of math instruction."

"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Rumsfeld said. "They desire solutions by 'means' and 'extremes', and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of 'absolute value'. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator known as the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are three sides to every triangle." When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, “If God had wanted us to have better "weapons of math Instruction," he would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more profound statement by the president. Florida Governor and the president's brother Jeb Bush, no stranger counts and recounts himself had no comment.