the day where diplomacy fails.

i guess diplomacy doesn't work very well amongst friends these days. and i do agree that sorry cures very few things. especially your post. but i wasn't even gonna ask for an apology for such a cutting post and i knew i won't get one but the last thing i wanted out of your outburst was another 'eugene lau' incident. we all remember that don't we? hey, all i requested was that you take back your words and remove your post. i msn-ed you about it and i sms-ed you about it early in the morning almost 10 hours ago. it's impossible that you could've missed it. and i remember i was darn polite about it too. but no response. no reply. no removal. sadly, it has to come to this.

if you're looking for a fight, i'm sorry to disappoint but you're not getting any. i've grown past that pissed off, all guns-ablazing, mowing down everyone phase. it doesn't do anyone good, except a temporary relieve to your own mind. sure i agree, it feels pretty damn good afterwards. i should know. i was probably this blog's founder of outbursts of insanity. but at least when my rants come, you know it. cos before i got home, i'll already be spewing all my nonsense at everyone. and when you see my outburst on the blog, you'd know what's going on. but this is so unexpected, especially when you were all smiles and joking with me at megapool. even said a very nice and polite 'bye' before you left. only for me to come home and see my back stabbed in blood on the blog.

you know what? i'm not even pissed at you. i'm not gonna attack anyone, neither am i gonna defend anyone. cos i'm beyond that. i'm thrown straight into disappointment cos i had imagined in you, a friend who understood. a friend who appreciated. a friend who could be depended upon for level-headed advice. a friend who'd learnt from his mistakes after damaging another friendship not too long ago in the past. but i guess i was wrong.

well, regardless, i shall maintain my poise of diplomacy, cos anger isn't really my cup of tea now. i passed it on to someone else apparently. i'm a talking sort of guy now, you want to sort things out come look for me. straight for me. we'll have a cup of mocha frap, rhumba frap or whatever frap you want and settle our differences.

i do maintain that sorry cures very few things. and these below aren't meant to cure any. it's just a reflection of what i feel after read your post:

i feel sorry, that i told you i wanted a game with you, after you kept the table, because i meant it.
i feel sorry, that i couldn't come down for the run, cos i didn't expect you all to want to dally in NSC for awhile. a 10km run with you guys could be done without problems otherwise. i should've thought you might've wanted to mingle with your sailing friends abit at NSC, but i didn't. my bad.
i feel sorry, that i brought myself to parkway to meet you guys, in hope to join you all for something only for you all to leave and go home to flame me.
i feel sorry, that my efforts to try and join your activities the best i can, aren't appreciated by you all. at all.
lastly, i feel sorry, that my efforts to bring you all together for an activity was met with failure, because i was ill and couldn't confirm with you until i have recovered. by the time i have confirmed, you've decided on something else.

i regret things have to come here. if i had a choice it wouldn't. if only you had responded to my words in the morning i wouldn't have felt a need to express myself on the blog. if it's anything, my words in the morning still stands. remove your post and i shall remove mine, along with any negative sentiments that stem from your post. and remember, next time you have a problem with me, just come find me straight. i won't blast you. 'quarter-life changes' as a friend once mentioned.