all that's left is now about to disappear

the officer in me has officially died.
the responsibilities have taken their toll.
i give up.
all my men, you little sniffling babies, go solve your own (goddamn) problems.
i'm no probation officer.

the boy in me is starting to die.
i sit in sullen silence.
i stand in perpetual defence.
it's too tiring and complicated for me to express myself.
leave me alone.

the world sits heavy on my shoulders.
the things i want to accomplish,
the goals i want to achieve,
the life i want to lead,
All these are lost in the tumultuous pressures of what the world wants to see, and expect.
comformity and stability kills us all.

i stand before the glass panel that separates the boy i am and the man i have to become.
i look with apprehension through it.
the panel shakes with agitation.
it quivers with trepidation,
just threatening, always threatening,
to obliterate into shards of painful experiences,
leaving me alone with broken innocence.

there's still much of life that i haven't lived,
yet my lips already curl with distaste.
i wish i knew what i was meant to do.
i wish i knew what we were meant to become.
we are all blind, you and i,
lost and confused,
happiness is but a fleeting release from eternal sorrow.