feeling good

i like this song. the feeling good one by buble? yeah. especially this part:

"It's a new dawn

It's a new day

It's a new life for me

And I'm feelin' good"

makes me wanna rid my inner demons. cast them away. throw them out and get back to those days without all those considerations, all those...worries. those days of freedom...

isn't it amazing how quickly things can hit you. one moment, you thought you were in control, then the next, you're knocked off your feet by that one thing you never expected, you find yourself scrambling, trying to regain your senses, trying to regain control...but you can't. and you're being led along a big merry go round. pulled along, dragged about and there's not one thing you can do about it. by the time you come round, you're beat, bruised and wounded, wondering and confused as to what had came about, how it came to happen, how you let yourself lose control...

well, i've been knocked off my feet. yes. i didn't expect it. yes. i was scrambling. hell yes. i tried to regain my senses, my control. i tried..i tried. failed. i was led. yes i was. pulled, dragged, beat, bruised, wounded, wondering and confused. the whole package. i wouldn't dare deny it. now i'm picking up the pieces and forming the big picture. i see it clear. and now i stand again. more or less, i'm back in control. no more silly games. no more merry go rounds. just me, there. standing. taking the reins and never letting them go. hmm, maybe just till the next thing comes along to knock me over. heh. till then, the current game, is over. the point is absent. the meaning, irrelevant. and the objective, a non-issue. yes i'm done, i'm up, i'm back and i'm.... feeling good.

i'm so close to my freedom. i hear it beckon. i hear it call. soon, let it be mine. be mine forever. come june..no, come april. i shall embrace what i've longed for.