Ode to nice guys - we all are!

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last,
that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and
bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very
point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder
to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who
hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently
outside the changing room at department stores.

This is in honour of
the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy
their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know
most girls need that litany of support. This is in honour of the guys
with open minds,with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is
in honour of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her
privacy to her theology to her clothing style.This is for the guys who
escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and
never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who
accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male
population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments
but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in
a game where the rules favour cheaters, for the guys who are
accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being
boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated,
and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled,
and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left
40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back,
she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her
boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her
boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok
and she shouldn't worry about it. This is for that time she
interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to
rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks
is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought
it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the
game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread
around the floor. This is also for that time she didn't have a date,
so after numerous vows that there was nothing "serious" between the
two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer
was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit
of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: "oh, but we're just
friends!" And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic
warmbody for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're nice like
that.The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. And
perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often
as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I
can't.

From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned
from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the
only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical,
manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice
guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational,
confusing things such as "oh, he's too nice to date" or "he would be a
good boyfriend but he's not for me" or "he already puts up with so
much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out!" or the most
frustrating of all: "no, it would ruin our friendship." Yet, they
continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they
expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathise and apologize
for the men that are jerks.

Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my
ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down
between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do(I'm going
to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say
that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There
are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and
realise they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for
granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier,
finding the ones that are single.So, until those girls are found, I
propose a toast to all the nice guys.You know who you are, and I know
you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But
the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the
department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting
services, your propensity to be a sucker fora pretty smile.

For all
the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations
where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my
acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have
credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is
coming.

someone sent this to me. i'm a nice guy!!